According to Kyrie, Life is Just a Flat Circle


Detective “Rust” Cole might have been on to something. While going over the details of a horrible case that Mathew McConaughey’s character worked in the previous decade, he says something that only Bill Walton wouldn’t flinch at. “Time is just a flat circle.”

While figuratively, I can’t argue with this theory too much since humans tend to make similar mistakes and are doomed to repeat themselves (Reference: David Kahn draft picks), literally, I know better than to think that time is cyclical. With all of that said, the flat-circle referenced above is not the flat-circle I have a problem with. My beef is with Flat Earth theory.

Flat Earth Theory is the belief that the earth is a flat disk with the Arctic Circle in the middle and the rest of the continents flaring out from the center. Antarctica forms an “Ice Wall” at the edge of the flat circle and makes sure to keep the Wildlings and White Walkers on the other side. While there have been believers in this theory since Spherical Earth became popular in the 6th Century B.C., a few more notable figures have been vocal lately about the Earth’s 3-Dimensional properties.

Cleveland Cavaliers guard Kyrie Irving spoke out against spheres this past weekend saying:

“This is not even a conspiracy theory,” Irving said. “The Earth is flat. The Earth is flat.
Cleveland Cavaliers point guard Kyrie Irving Source: Bleacher Report
“It’s right in front of our faces. I’m telling you, it’s right in front of our faces. They lie to us.
“I think people should do their own research, man,” Irving told ESPN. “Hopefully they’ll either back my belief or they’ll throw it in the water. But I think it’s interesting for people to find out on their own.
“I’ve seen a lot of things that my educational system has said that was real that turned out to be completely fake. I don’t mind going against the grain in terms of my thoughts.”

When given an opportunity to weigh-in on the topic and use centuries of scientific research and evidence, Golden State Warriors’ Draymond Green instead came to Kyries defense saying:

“I don’t know. I haven’t done enough research. It may be flat. I wouldn’t necessarily say it’s crazy though. It’s just his opinions.”

I’m hoping that these comments are as nonsensical as the theory itself. Think about the harm this could do to the world’s globe market.