April is the Hangover from Hell for Movies

I didn’t quite get around to watching a movie this week for Throwback Thursday Reviews. I’ll continue that next Thursday. But for now — I’ll go on a rant about April. It is not a promising month for good movies. Not like March has been. It’s like having a huge party and then OH SHIT!…Here comes the hangover. This week I’ll be giving you the movies I won’t be seeing and the reasons why (also including March 31st as April):

• Ghost in a Shell (March 31st): This movie looks like way too much of a trip for me to enjoy. It looks like if I were to drop acid in the middle of Tokyo. It’s already receiving controversial attention due to ScarJo being the lead. More claims of white washing. Not what you want *Ahem* The Great Wall.
• The Boss Baby (March 31st): A baby in a suit trying to stop puppies from being cuter. How hilarious and adorable. Whoever made this just wasn’t satisfied with Alec Baldwin’s character — Jack Donaghy on 30 rock, so he decided to make him a baby.
• The Zookeeper’s Wife (March 31st): Meh…
• Smurfs: The Lost Village ( April 7th): Nah. Weren’t these supposed to be live action anyway?
• Going in Style (April 7th): Will not be seeing this. Although the, “are you guys 5–0?” “5–0? We’re practically 8–0,” joke (from the trailer) was so bad that it was kind of funny.
• Gifted (April 7th): Big name actors & actresses (Chris Evans, Octavia Spencer, Jenny Slate), but not very appealing.
• The Fate of the Furious (April 14th): So much no. This looks so laughably bad that I think I could write an entire article on why I won’t be seeing this one. One thing that I’m sure everyone says still holds true is that they should’ve stopped after Furious 7. It was a perfect sendoff to Paul Walker. The movie had a lot of quirks, terrible dialog (“Thing about the streets is…the streets always win”) but at least it was somewhat entertaining. Now they’re just continuing to shell these movies out with so many over the top ideas because they think that’s what the audience wants to see. Dom going rogue? Seriously? If I guess that it’s due to him being blackmailed or framed what do I win? The plot seems way too bland and predictable.

• Unforgettable (April 21st): Rosario Dawson & Katherine Heigl’s new vengeance thriller has been done so many time’s before. And done by people with way more talent. Fatal Attraction (1987), Obsessed (2009), When the Bough Breaks (2016). Hollywood has a real obsession with always making women out to be crazy ex-girlfriends.
• How to be a Latin Lover (April 28th): This looks so incredibly bad. How did this even get made? Rob Lowe…huge fan, but I ‘literally’ think you need to do different roles.

Next month, I’ll be giving you the movies I won’t be seeing in May. You won’t want to miss it…there’s a lot of bad ones.