The Last Outlaw’s Last Ride
As you go through life you realize that there are very few people who are worthy of being giving the moniker of a role model. When it comes to celebrities and athletes, even fewer truly deserve admiration. So when I tell you that The Undertaker is one of my role models, know how highly I value those words.
With his retirement Sunday night at Wrestlemania 33 we have officially seen the last of The Undertaker in a WWE ring. After a career that’s spanned longer than my lifespan, he has earned the right to walk into the sunset with his wife and live the rest of his life as he pleases. It’s a very bittersweet feeling to watch your all-time favorite wrestler retire knowing that it’s absolutely the right decision.
It would take a lot more words than I care to type (or you care to read) to describe how watching wrestling and more specifically The Undertaker himself has impacted me as a person. I’ll just say that I question anyone who doesn’t respect the undisputed leader of WWE’s locker room and a man who was able to keep the mystique of being a fucking zombie on-screen alive for decades because he cared so deeply for the business. It only makes sense that the fans care as deeply about him in return. It’s actually pretty sad to think that you know no matter what you do you will never touch as many lives as he has.
I wrote a few articles back that I was excited for the Roman Reigns match on Sunday because I thought it would be a war of pure emotion from the fans led by great storytelling. Unfortunately, WWE didn’t allow the former any opportunity to exist. When you push a match to the end of a seven plus hour event and mute the vocal majority who despise Reigns it may be difficult to have a magical atmosphere surrounding it.
Story-wise, I could not be happier with how the match played out. Right away they go after each other, the both stake their claim that the ring is now their yard. Early on it looks like Reigns almost underestimated how tough this was going to be and how little effect his offense is having. The Phenom’s early offensive attack is working perfectly and he’s looking to put it away early when Roman lands that spear through the table that completes halts his momentum. This gives Reigns a chance to take advantage and pummel away at him.
Obviously the horribly executed last ride has more to do with his real life wear and tear, but it fits in perfectly here signaling that despite controlling the match thus far, his body is already starting to give out on him. From this point on, even when delivering offense, everything Undertaker does is significantly slower. This gives Roman more opportunities to recover and pick his spots.
The Undertaker throws everything he has at him early but he couldn’t put Reigns away and his body continues to fade. He takes another spear and from this point on in the match he struggles to get up. He knows he’s in trouble and reaches for a chair in the ring but reminiscent of his match with HHH at Wrestlemania 28 (with a role reversal), his opponent steps on it, indicating that he’s now in control.
Roman hits two more spears but The Deadman kicks out of both. His body has completely failed him at this point but his mind and will absolutely refuse to give up and Reigns despite being in total control looks like he has no clue how to win. He keeps hitting his signature moves because that’s all he knows but nothing is putting The Phenom down. In one last act of defiance, Undertaker tries to sit up but after the punishment his body has taken, he can’t. Roman sees how absolutely helpless he is and almost pities him. He looks like he’s almost about to show mercy when he gets called a pussy so he goes for one more giant spear, taking him down for good.
It might not be like his match with Shawn at Wrestlemania 25 but if you told me the last story of his career was him establishing that this was still his yard early, then slowly but surely his body is what does him in, despite his will and heart doing everything they can to survive, I’d tell you that’s a perfect way to go out.
My only wish was that the match as a whole was better. I hate to say, but there were way too many botches and most of them weren’t on Roman. The failed spots killed any momentum that could’ve been built up and effectively silenced the crowd. It was made painfully obvious to everyone watching that not only was The Undertaker retiring, he needed to retire because he had nothing left to give. The proverbial gas tank finally hit empty. We could see the signs starting with Wrestlemania 30, where the match quality fell off a cliff from 29 but he was able to put together good rematches against Lesnar and give you hope that he had one more classic in him. That just wasn’t meant to be sadly, as the fan in me wanted to see him go out like HBK or Flair.
As for the retirement itself, in my opinion it was done to perfection. His stripping away of his wrestling attire was clearly symbolic of the fact that The Undertaker was gone and all that remained was Mark Calaway. He embraced his wife, breaking character for the first time in his career. He slowly walked up to the ramp but not all the way, only about half-perfectly illustrating the damage his body had gone through. One he reached his mark, he gave one final turn to view everything he was leaving behind, raised his fist and descended into darkness.
He didn’t say a word and he didn’t have to. Everything he, the crowd and the fans were feeling was told brilliantly by the look on his face and the emotion in his eyes. I sat and watched silently, numb witnessing the fact that I would never see him wrestle again and knowing that even if he could, he shouldn’t. He had given us far too much of himself already.
Remember some of the things he’s gone through for our entertainment.
At Elimination Chamber in 2010, he came out to his usual entrance, instead of his usual slow, methodical walk to the ring, he actually appeared to be in a rush. Why? Well the pyrotechnic guy nearly killed him by engulfing him in fire from his entrance. He came out of the chamber pod 20 minutes after dousing himself with water in pure agony. Chris Jericho noticed Taker’s skin blistering and smell his burnt hair. He felt the heat radiating from his skin. He asked Taker “Hey man you ok? Do we need to change anything?” Taker replied with “No kid, let’s stay with what we’ve got.” Taker finished the match, went backstage and told Vince he didn’t want an apology, he just never wanted to see the pyro guy again because if he did, he would kill him. Jericho said Vince must have felt the same way because he told Taker he understands, and the pyro guy was never seen again.”
He had his face crushed by Mable, put on a mask and wrestled the next night.
He had numerous broken ribs, taped a flak jacket around them and powered through the night.
During his infamous HIAC match with Mick Foley he had a big staph infection in his elbow popped backstage right before, and a broken foot.
Outside the ring, he loved the strip club and Jake ‘The Snake’ Roberts was one of his favorite guys to go with early in his career. Roberts was more experienced and Undertaker couldn’t keep up, leading to alcohol positioning one night. Jake said after the alcohol poisoning he had to get his stomach pumped. He wrestled that same night.
Did all of this greatly contribute to the wreck we saw in the ring Sunday night? Undoubtedly. It also made us care more and reminds us that we don’t see performers like that anymore. The Undertaker’s longevity and earned level of respect are comparable to Tim Duncan’s, except in his case, all of wrestling is a Spurs fan.
Next year will be the first Wrestlemania I watch without him and that’s a tough pill to swallow. I know the show will always go on, no wrestler will ever be bigger than the WWE and I’ll find some character or story compelling enough to get my excitement level for it right back. Plus let’s be honest, I think Taker has earned it to go rest in peace.
