Why No One Gives a **** About Movie Critics
Movie critics don’t critique movies anymore. They critique the events surrounding them.
I saw Beauty and the Beast with some friends last night (que the jokes about a few 20-something males going to see a Disney movie in theaters) and was absolutely blown away (our review for that will come out tonight). While a fellow Norden Post writer has gone on record, at least to me, about how much he hates applause after a film it was refreshing to hear the ovation once the end credits started rolling as it’s something that has been fading away over the years.
As we excitedly discussed our favorite moments of the movie the conversation eventually moved towards talk about critics and how the movie wasn’t nearly as well-received it should have been.
Personally, I gave up valuing critics years ago. IMDB was a great site, which sacrificed its integrity and soul for reasons beyond me. Rotten Tomatoes has never been something I’ve valued. Audience scores (the score that matters) always widely vary from that of critics and that leads me to the purpose of the article.
Movie critics don’t critique movies anymore. They critique the events surrounding them. I read movie reviews to see if a movie was good or bad, not that it’s unnecessary. I’m more than a little tired of the propaganda and bullshit they spew to fit a narrative. Their job is to review the movies they see, instead they use the platform to make political statements in a world that could use a lot less politics right now. I just want to know whether a movie is worth watching or not based on the actual content of said movie.
Beauty and the Beast reviews on the aforementioned cesspool for movie reviewing talent can be summed up in in two sentences: It’s dull because it doesn’t recapture the magic of arguably the greatest animated movie ever. It’s an unnecessary movie.
Well I have news for you generic movie critic, it’s not up to you to deem a movie unnecessary. It’s up to the audience. If I don’t want to see it…I won’t. Again, your job is to do one thing, tell me if the movie is good or bad, entertaining or not. This is the main problem with movie reviews these days…they don’t tell us the things they are supposed to tell us.
Seriously, read this review.
Beauty and the Beast is a terrible movie. Wow, we are off to a good start! Not just an opinion, but a hard stance on the movies quality! Though, as you waste your time going through it, there is no explanation as to why. The original was better. This movie was unnecessary. It takes eleven paragraphs to give out two sentences worth of information. They don’t care either. They tricked you into viewing it based off a title that makes you think you may actually get the type of opinion you value. I don’t care if you disliked Beauty and the Beast, everything is subjective. I care about the fact that most movie reviews can’t tell me why they disliked it.
Of course I’m generalizing here. There are plenty of great ones who watch films for the sake of enjoyment and their analysis reflects as much. I love listening to Chris Stuckmann and Jeremy Jahns because they actually convey a sense of investment into every film they watch. Professions galore can be found where the bad eggs seem to have overtaken the good ones. As an insurance professional I get that. That doesn’t make it any less disappointing though.
We review movies at Norden Post because we want to see them and say how entertaining each film is or isn’t. I will never say you shouldn’t see a movie because it was unnecessary. Newsflash, no movie ever made has been necessary. If I say you shouldn’t see something, it will be because I thought it sucked. I don’t care about skewing my opinion favorably because it has an all-female cast like Ghostbusters, a truly “unnecessary” film which likely has the lowest audience score of any “certified fresh” movie ever. It’s terrible but the critics won’t tell you that because of the circumstances surrounding the film.
To me, it makes more sense to actually do the job you are supposed to do. That’s why YouTube and online reviewers are popping up everywhere and replacing the more traditional critic. Those positions no longer hold value to us moviegoers. I am in no way qualified to review movies on more than a basic level. I wasn’t a journalism student. I have never taken a class that analyzes films at a more profound level than ‘I enjoy it’ but I can be honest and tell you whether a movie is worth a watch or not.
I can understand being bad at your job. Work is hard, everyone on earth knows that. Beauty and the Beast has already seen a ½ point jump on IMDB and 6% increase on RT in about 13 hours since the movie came out because people have loved the movie. Word of mouth is an audience based phenomenon, critics don’t influence shit these days. That’s just not what most of them will tell you.
Writing credit to Sam Gallenberger
