Episode 4
The Journey Ahead
The Dopediddley Adventures of Norm & Norm
Get caught up in the * to the right, or read the previous episodes.
“Good gosh damn gents, hearing you talk about poppycock dust gave me shivers from tube to top hat,” said the mosquito. The air above her head flickered in midnight blues and charcoal grays. Several massive orange puffs behind her cast dark shadows over the table top. The two worms and fat fly she addressed were silent, surprised at her sudden entrance. Her companions, the grizzled earwigs and their subservient silverfish, stood waiting.
Inside the house, scavengers who came upon each other without predatory intent could expect inquisitive and jovial interaction. Flies, crude and blunt as they are, didn’t do so well with the jovial part. Donny would normally start with an insult, then move into a rant based on the incoming species’ stereotypes. This time however, he was silent, brow visibly furled due to cognitive overload. How could he get rid of the newcomers and control his hostage situation?
One of the hostages broke the silence. Norm spoke, “Uh, you’ve had poppycock dust before?”
“You’re diggity darn right I have, and I’m willing to purchase some off you this very moment.” As she finished her sentence, the mosquito shot a sly wink in Norm’s direction. Luckily, he caught it. “But, I’ll only take it if it’s genuine. Don’t you slip me dust from a honeycrisp or granny apple. I won’t take any of that second rate stuff.”
“It’s real alright. You can come see for yourself, we were just about to go get the seeds,” Norm cautiously replied.
“Well alright then, me and my boys here will join you on your trek. Let’s giddy on up.”
Donny’s brow furled to right angles. He started, “Wait just a minute now plasma-sucker.” The mosquito didn’t flinch at the insult. Among the group, adrenaline was rising and the air was as heavy as the sweat dripping down Donny’s antenna. Using all of his brain power to craft his next sentence, he continued, “I’m sorry to inform you that these two worms and myself have an agreement to tend to. We won’t be going nowhere for the time being.”
Turning to face the fly, the top-hatted mosquito responded, “Oh, pardon me. I got all worked up over the thought of poppycock dust and I forgot my manners.” At this comment, she audibly clicked two segments in her lower abdomen. Moving behind Donny, the earwigs stealthily unhooked the silverfish, though keeping them put. She continued, “I didn’t invite the fly on our trek. Will you join us?”
“Will I join you?” Donny’s voice cracked. “I’m not going anywhere. And… and neither are the worms. As I said, we were in the middle of something, an agreement of sorts.”
Donny was shaking with adrenaline and anxiety. The mosquito paused, then calmly replied, “Now I’m real sorry about this friend, but it seems to me that these worms don’t want much to do with your agreement,” she said and looked to Norm and Norman.
“Nope!” spouted Norman.
“And we can’t just pass up an opportunity for poppycock dust. It sounds like you’ll be staying, and we’ll be taking the worms and going. Don’t make a fuss now, shit-eater.” She turned to leave, motioning that the worms come with.
Donny felt the insult, registered his loss of control, and lunged to attack. At the very moment of lift off, two lashes swung around his thorax and abdomen. The lashes quickly tightened, rendering his wings motionless and causing his paralyzed body to nose-dive from the air. He hit face first, feeling something in his proboscis crack as orange spatter spewed onto the table top.
The mosquito began on introductions as the earwigs busily restrained Donny. What had been leashes for the silverfish now bound the fat fly’s wings and arms to his abdomen, and wrapped once over his yapper. Surprisingly nimble and spry, the two earwigs leapt and flipped over one another to complete the job. The mosquito had displayed similar showmanship on her entrance earlier, and the worms couldn’t help but be entertained.
“The name’s Nergus. Strange name for a lady I know, but it suits me. It looks as though you boys were in a bit of a bind there.” She was the type who gesticulated as she spoke, employing her blood red proboscis as well as her hands.
“You could say that,” replied Norm, tearing his eyes from the animated tube. “I do hope you weren’t actually in the market for poppycock dust.”
“Poppycock dust, no. If it existed, maybe. You wouldn’t happen to have some buzz on hand would you?” The Norms shot a puzzled look at one another. Nergus continued, “Wow, I had a feeling about it, but you boys really aren’t from around here.”
Norm saw that Norman was readying a reply, and moved quickly to interject, “actually, yes, we’re from nearby. Now that I think about it, I’m surprised we haven’t crossed paths before.” Norm was careful to trust the newcomers, despite their help in vanquishing Donny.
“Now listen here, um…” Nergus paused.
“Norm,” said Norm.
“And Norman,” added Norman.
“…Norm and Norman. There ain’t no use in pretending that you know a lick about these parts. We’re smack dab on the middle of the table top, which is in the middle of the glow-box-room, which is no place for a couple of slow movers like yourselves. There are predators out here, much worse than this disgusting beast,” she stopped to pat Donny’s throbbing belly. “You’re not from around here, that’s A-positive. Now, we’re just as strange as any, but if I were you, I’d let that guard down a bit.”
Having little choice, the worms revealed themselves. The story of their physics defying transport from the sunshine to the table top made for a good tale. Norman embellished slightly in his description of the silver beast and his gnashing sharp teeth that held bits of rotting flesh in-between. Norm, usually eloquent, had trouble finding words to recount their near suffocation in the poisonous smoke, and the results that still lingered. And of course they spoke of Donny and his greedy gang of flies, three of whom were bound to come back any second.
Finally, Norm and Norman spoke of their lives before this grand mishap. They talked of green leaves so fat with sunshine you could barely wrap your mouth around their edges. They recounted the refreshing cool dew that covered the grass each morning, and the trip through it to Gene’s place for coffee. They remembered with surprising clarity the different varieties of dirt available at the base of the apple tree. All of this was foreign to their audience, but all was coveted.
“Hoowee, that’s a rouse boys!” Said Nergus who excitedly looked to the earwigs, “I tell you what fellas, we’ve stumbled across some real adventurers here.”
“Far, far from home” — “Far-far, very far,” said the earwigs, who rolled Donny on top of the silverfish. They winced at the weight of the load. Donny had stopped struggling and was breathing steadily and heavy on the backs of the silverfish.
“You’re in a whole new universe here, Norms. Can I call you Norms? Figure it gets at addressing you both at once,” Nergus positioned herself between the worms. “Now, it’s not normal procedure that me and my pals here go putting ourselves in danger to save some wayward travelers, but something about you two caught our eye. No gents, it didn’t feel right to leave such an interesting pair behind.”
“Oh no-no, not right” — “Nope nope.”
“Now, I’ve seen the ‘sunshine’ you mentioned. I know where it is. And we,” Nergus motioned to her crew, “can take you there.”
Norm surveyed the mosquito, and Norman surveyed him. “Ok, we’re coming with you. Please, take us home.”
Norman added, “And the sooner the better! We’d rather not be here when Bulky and his gang come back.”
“Alright, we’re in business!” proclaimed Nergus. Her antennae had perked up at hearing Bulky’s name, but she said nothing of it. To the earwigs, she continued, “Let’s load up the extra satchels fellas, our crew just grew. Dump out what we’ve got here, and let’s split it up among us.” Then back to the worms, “We collected some food on the table top. I’m not sure about the pills. The mushrooms look a bit old but edible, and these bright colored pellets should make a nice meal. We’ll break them up into smaller chunks. Let’s chip off a good amount of that orange puff too.”
The flicker of the dark room went from blues and blacks to a steady silver haze as the television in the vicinity settled on white noise. Norm and Norman had weary eyes, and, even worse, weary hearts.
They placed their hope in a fast talking, slender mosquito and her companions. Defenses down and exhausted, they climbed up on Donny’s thumping stomach and lay awake just long enough to hear the earwigs order the silverfish to mush. As the procession moved out, Nergus in front and earwigs in back, the worms drifted off to sleep dreaming of sunshine.
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