One of those moments…
The phone is staring back at me, probably chuckling at the sight of my distraught face. The phone directory shows no mercy either, directing me to the numbers of the four people I need to call.
What if they’re still sleeping? I don’t want my nasally voice to be the first sound they hear in the morning.
What if they already made plans? I might be interrupting their annual family gathering.
What if they feel obligated to say yes? I’ll definitely get the death glare the next time I see them.
What if they hate me for making them turn me down?
What if my voice will forever be associated with pain and sorrow in the years to come?
What if…
Just dial the damn numbers and get it over with. Let’s start with the nicest person. Wait, what about the person who will most likely not pick up? It’s OK, I can afford to burn some bridges. I won’t work here forever. I can always find another job, maybe move to another state so they won’t spot me at the local grocery store, silently judging me for choosing the non-organic option for milk.
I’ll just start in the order of the names written down. I dial the first number and pray they won’t pick up.
“Hello?”
Shit. I mumble and recite my ill-prepared speech. He rejects me and I gladly say it’s fine and hang up. I take a sip of my tea and readjust myself on the chair. I quickly critique my last call to see where I can improve. Maybe if I articulate my words better or change my tone, then I’ll get a yes.
Ok, onto the next person. I pick up the phone and dial.
“hmmm, huulloo?”
Damn it. I think I just woke her up. I profusely apologize for bothering her and recite my much-improved spiel. I make an effort to sound sweeter, even apologetic, but I still get turned down. She hangs up and I remember my training. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. She probably had a long night and I woke her from a deep sleep. Didn’t she volunteer her time yesterday? Yeah, she did! Of course she declined to come, I should’ve known that. Wow, I’m a horrible person.
It feels as if an eternity has passed. I’m frozen in my seat. I can’t just lie and say I’ve called all four of them. That’s immoral. WWJD? Fine, I’ll call the next person. I’m already halfway done. It’ll be over soon and I can move on with the rest of my day. I remember my training, pick up the phone, and punch in the numbers. It rings.
“Your call has be forwarded to an auto….”
OH THANK GOD. I slam the phone down and I immediately skip the last person and bring the bad news to my supervisor. Why live a life so stressful? I put on my best professional face and regretfully state that none of the names given to me on the list were available to pick up a shift this afternoon. She blinks and doesn’t see through my facade.
“Don’t worry about it, I already got someone to cover this afternoon. We didn’t need those extra people, but thanks for trying though.”
She smiles and walks away nonchalantly as I wipe my fogged up glasses, attempt to lower my heart rate and blood pressure, and proceed to google average rent in Fairbanks, Alaska.
