What is this place?

wheredowefindthetime.com

All stories on this site are the truth.

I have had the privilege and burden of carrying stories of considerable shame in my nearly two decades as a camgirl-slash-confidant and member of the human race. It’s time for our shared pain to come into the light, so we can help each other heal. We cannot grow as islands.

Nothing is hearsay. Everyone is real. It’s understandable if some of these accounts make you feel deeply uncomfortable. There are Content Warnings (please let me know if I’ve missed anything) on any stories likely to be triggering.

Some stories are anonymous. Some are not. Some are multiple by the same author. Some are different perspectives of the same situation. Gender is not disclosed unless relevant.

There are countless paths to healing and absolution, whether you have been injured as a victim of actions performed against you, or realize your actions may have hurt someone else. Writing and connecting with others has always helped me.

Whoever you may be, your perspective and your suffering are 100% real. I hope the stories here can bring you some additional understanding and healing.

How can I share my story?

Not A Victim publishes your own first person account, or primary source interviews where I will turn our Q&A into a published story.

Currently focusing on reaching out to people I have already crossed paths with, but I am looking at how to privately and authentically encourage anyone’s story to be published.

Contact me securely here if there’s something you’d like to talk about. I am here to listen, not judge. You can use an alternate email if you don’t want to reveal your identity to me, but either way, anything you send to me is in private confidence until you make the decision for it to be published (to whatever degree of anonymity you prefer).

What’s up with the name?

I tried to call this blog “Becoming Human”, but when that was already taken, I decided to reuse the name of my 2003 music album (thanks, Dad, for storing a few hundred unsold CDs for a decade and a half… 😂 🎶).

At the time, it was a statement against how I felt society would view me if they knew all the things that had happened in my life. A middle finger at victimhood, if you will.

These actions hurt us, but they do not have to define us forever.