RELOADING THE GUN
The State of the Motor Tom Union
ndrew is diligent. He writes diligently, works diligently and replenishes the brown stuff in his liquor cabinet diligently. For my part, I am — historically speaking, anyway — diligent about emptying the liquor cabinet and keeping Andrew on his toes. One could say that I was hyper-diligent, then, during the night that spawned The Motor Tom song called “Reaching for a Gun,” because as we sought an acceptable chorus part for the song, I lay on the floor. My figurative head spun as my actual head rocked side-to-side and while Andrew worked his magic with his guitar and computer, I entered an angry state of drunkenness. As I lay on the ground out came the phrase “reaching for a gun.” It is hard to say now whether the phrase was borne of general emotions — for the sort of life that catalyzes one to sing such a phrase is likely that very sort of life that compels one to drink in such quantity as I had that night and many others — or of a more specific frustration that can sometimes arrive when a song’s completion eludes. Either way, the phrase bore roots in either a general or specific imbalance and leaped its way into the real world on the wings of some Freudian vehicle or other.
Andrew and I both knew right away that we had struck something good because it was both catchy and honest. And it was a relief because the previous concept for a hook had been turned into the guitar melody that starts the song, thereby creating several hours of difficulty as we sought a replacement vocal line.
The majority of songs that made it onto our upcoming LP, “Super Sexy Space Station,” were written in a fashion not too dissimilar from that described above. Several days a week would find their conclusion in an ashtray of cigarette butts; in the melted ice at the bottom of a whiskey glass; in new songs that gradually coalesced into a cohesive collection. Much of the band’s productivity was due to Andrew’s ability to focus both the music and me, neither being any small task. But another contributing factor lay beyond the context of the band, and that factor was imbalance. That is, whereas the final versions of the songs (the majority of the songs, anyhow) acquired the elements of fiction necessary to make them globally compelling, a motivation to comprehend life’s strangeness incited a great deal of creativity. For about two years the method by which the band wrote songs (“Reaching for a Gun,” “Real Life,” “Fucked Up World,” “American Kids,” and several others) turned anxiety into alcohol and pot, which in turn generated the odd brew of confidence and sympathetic introspection that became an album.
Then came the winter that bridged 2012–13, and with it came change. Change in the female form.
That winter Andrew, Anthony and I met the women with whom we each currently live. And, in so doing, The Motor Tom prepared to embrace a previously absent component: balance. More specifically, the band in the winter of 2012–13 was relieved of its duties involved in the discovery of contentment by and for its members. Such duties were bestowed unto people who were not members of the band, but nonetheless wielded (and indeed continue to wield!) extraordinary positive influence. And so, The Motor Tom became a barge that had delivered its freight. Its utility remains, but its current state is void of kinetic energy and, one hopes, replete with potential energy.
f any lyric in the vein of those discovered on the floor during the writing of “Reaching for a Gun” were to ever be penned again, it would have to be pulled from pure imagination. Visits to the bottom of bottles have become less frequent as confusion has given way to clarity. And as imbalance has been replaced by its opposite the familiar catalysts of inspiration have exited, leaving us to wander a large empty house in search of imaginary furnishings with which to fill it. Fortunately, “Super Sexy Space Station” is in the can and The Motor Tom has plenty of work to do yet in order to promote and package it, so there is plenty of time for discovery.
Sweet are the uses of adversity, and many are the tools of imagination. If “SSSS” were the product internalization, whatever comes next might have to rely upon a reverse process. That is, rather than that which is real undergoing a transformation at the behest of the imagination, it just might be time for The Motor Tom to create something from nothing. Is 30 too young to develop a God complex? •
