Photo by Maurits Bausenhart on Unsplash. A herd of gnus crossing a river. Wildebeasts in the rearview mirror may be closer than they appear to be.

As a Gnu Manager, I Thought Everything Was an Emergency

I was right! Look at them stampeding toward our village!

They’re huge, they’re powerful. Just how big are gnus you ask?

https://www.curated.com/products

139 to 153 cm. The snowboards.

115 to 151 cm. The gnu.

Very close.

Coincidence?

Anomaly?

As Medium.coma’s gnuest gnu manager in their prestigious Data Science Department, it’s my job (just above broke) to investigate, interrogate and subjugate the science-driven dismissin- Alex Jones-formation that comes across my desk, BUT not before coffee.

Photo by Derick McKinney on Unsplash A “We’re all Mad Here” neon sign in an antique store.

Step 11: Collect data. Obviously, ‘things that are purple’ is of primal importance to Pauli, Medium.coma’s gnuest badonkadonk rear engineer, ($225k, mental health care, purple Cadillac and a chicken crossing the train tracks) ⬇️