FDI — Funny Direct Investments

Foreign Direct Investments is a sensitive issue doing the rounds in our country for a longer time now. I am not writing this blog to explain what actually is FDI, to know about it Just Google or as your Investment Banker Friends. With political parties taking sides in this issue, many corporates welcoming it, small scale industries calling it a bane and a lot of talks are going around. But once you get a clear idea about FDI you can also call the people who are opposing it as “BRATS”. So let me take up this opportunity to call Mamata Banerjee a Brat for opposing this and opting out of the UPA coalition, there were a lot of terrible errors by UPA which no one argued about but when it comes with the development of the country everyone starts to oppose.

“Ippadiye irundha naadu epdi munnerum” *Stole from a Shankar movie!*

Ditching the seriousness of this issue, i am gonna put on my Sherlock Holme’s cap and dig into some of the areas where the Foreign Direct Investment would be very useful in a very very funny manner.

DISCLAIMER : Blogs are subject to Reader’s risk!


First up is the field that unites our country — CRICKET

Long long ago so long ago,wait wait… Even if you search in this way you wouldn’t able to find one fast bowler from India who tormented the oppositions, Though we have best pace foundation in the entire world, we are not able to produce Fast bowlers for our senior national team.

“If Sreesanth flashes in your mind when you read this article, Please Hang yourself!”

So instead of training Indians, why don’t we import fast bowlers from the Caribbean or from Australia. With a batting resource which could supply us for even 10 decades, if we import some very good fast bowlers then no one can defeat us! This also reduces the money spent upon the Pace foundation. This is much simpler than finding a Guy, training him, giving him a chance and see him make blunders in the World Cup final (You should have zeroed on the guy with this statement)
Wish it was “Fire in Bombay” instead of”Fire in Babylon”

Now i jump to our Country’s second love — CINEMA

From Kashmir to Kannyakumari, whether they have literacy rate or not, they would definitely have knowledge about cinema.

But the trend of good movies is declining very rapidly with actors like Abishek Bachchan and Vijay acting.
As every kinds of climax has been tried upon in every genre of movies and with heroine becoming an item dancer and all the Item dancers aging away. I call upon for importing Hollywood beauties as Item dancers.

Just Imagine Megan Fox dancing for Sheila Ki Jawaani *your jaws should drop when you read this*

And Arnold schwarzenegger acting as a Villain for a Rajinikanth Movie. Imagine Clint Eastwood or Morgan Freeman in the Role of Aadhisheshan in “Sivaji”

Gary Oldman as Captian Prabhakaran! Bard Pitt as Vinayak Mahadev, Johnny Depp as Chulbul Pandey in Dabaang — MIND BLASTING!

And Christopher Nolan Directing Kamalahaasan with music by Hans Zimmer *WIN*

There are some areas where Foreign Direct Investments already exists! These areas are hidden to a level and only a particular set of people are aware of it and then have the privilege of commenting and making fun out of them!

First up is our beloved NRI friends

Though NRI abbreviates to Non Resident Indians, they behave as foreigners Residing in India. With the involvement of these NRIs in our country we have started to ignore the native Foreigners which is very bad for them.
As most of the colleges have separate quota for them, they come to our country to study(This is supposed to be their country too) but influence us in a lot of ways.

Bathroom Slippers for Casual Use — The main change these guys have influenced in our society is this*no offence* Right after they started using color color slippers, it went onto become a Fashion statement and now everyone has started following them!

Please NRIs, who are gonna read this should never mistake me. This is purely for the funny side and not to hurt anyone personally. You are my Friends and after reading this,you shouldn’t cancel the pending treats for me…

Now I bring it to you the area in which Foreign Investments are involved for the past 20 years


MARRIAGE

You can question me,what does Marriage got to do with FDI, but many people would not be aware of this! This is a big threat to boys like me who face a tough competition while finding a girl for Marriage. Already the amount of girls is less compared to the number of ratio, blame it on the female infanticide , in addtion to this trouble we face a stiff competition from Smart Boys with six digit salaries. But these are only minor hiccups, the major hiccup is from the so called Foreign Direct Investments otherwise known as AMERICA MAPPILLAS

Aah, now a bulb will glow on top of your head, yes now you would understand where FDI exists in the field of Marriage.

These guys study from LKG to their PG here, but later import themselves to some foreign country and then after 5–6 years would return with millions of bank balance and also with the sophisticated tag “Foreign Return”

These people are most sought after bride grooms, especially in the South Indian states. However they return, however elderly they look, they all fall into the category of “BEST” with every relative from the girl side going like this “Whattey Mappillai”

Though its a boon for all the Fathers and Mothers, this is not at all good for the 99% of the boys who roam around in the same country right from their birth(The Remaining 1% fall into the category of BEST though they roam around with us, but they look good or earn well)

“”Dei Enga nellamayaalm konjam nenachu paarunga da”” :/ :/

AMERICA MAPPILLAS DOWN DOWN!


After a longtime writing a Blog-post and making you all read this *self pat*

P.S This is the best way you can spend your time in a useful way during three continuous weekday holdiays

P.P.S Thanks NILAM!