My Favorite Lessons From Elizabeth Gilbert
Last year Elizabeth Gilbert, the witty, vulnerable author who wrote Eat, Pray, Love, spoke at INBOUND and I got to watch and listen. Let’s call her Liz because I feel personally close to her; her books have that effect on you, like chatting with your old high school bestie over a glass of wine.
Even though it was long ago, I still find myself repeating the things she told the audience and practicing them in my life every day. One of Liz’s talents is painting vivid visualizes that stay with you long after you hear or read about them. I want to share those visuals that have helped me, and I hope I can do them some justice (if I can’t just read Eat, Pray, Love and Big Magic)
Protect Your Sacred Things
Liz started with a story of how she moved to NYC to become a writer when she was 20-something. She had four jobs, noisy roommates, a needy boyfriend, and no time to write. When her mentor, a swanky artist who was making a living selling her art (Elizabeth’s dream), asked her, “How’s your writing going, Liz?”
Liz had to explain that she had no time to write! Here is the best part: her mentor gives her a proverbial smack on the head and says that Liz is choosing not to make time for her writing.
The point is, at any point in time, you will feel overwhelmed and pulled away from things you love and hold dear. The lesson is you can’t do everything at once. That’s a hard pill to swallow, but why would you half-ass everything in your life when you could get whole ass the essential things — the things you hold sacred.
Let’s define sacred as an adjective describing something that is “considered worthy of spiritual respect or devotion.” What do you want to devote your time to that gives something back to your spiritual wellness?
Here’s the exercise, choose 4–5 things that are sacred to you like family, your career, or writing and decide those things are sacred to you. These can/will change over time and different seasons of your life, so don’t worry if you are a little nervous about commitment.
Liz’s Visual: Got your sacred things? Good, now Liz said to “draw a circle around them” like a line in the sand. Nothing crosses that line. You’re protecting your time to spend on your sacred things. You have to say “No” to those things that infringe on your circle, and that is okay. Something about the visualization of the drawing a circle around the things that matter most to me brings me clarity and reassurance. It makes it easier to make decisions on how to spend my time every day.
Take Your Noose Off
I live in a constant state of worry. I spend my brainpower worrying about when I can buy a new car, the 2020 election, what will happen if some super crazy unlikely scenario happened tomorrow what would I do? Why am I so worried!
Liz’s Visual: The word worry comes from the old English term ‘wyrgan,’ which means ‘strangle.’ She put it into a compelling visual, to be worrying about things we can’t control is to slip a rope around our necks and pull it tighter and tighter. We put the rope there, and we have the power to take it off.
I practice taking my noose off because it doesn’t come naturally. One thing that Liz shared that helps me start to loosen the rope is to repeat, “It’s all gonna be alright.” That is a slogan Richard from Texas used. Richard from Texas is a wonderful man you can meet by reading “Eat, Pray, Love,” my favorite Elizabeth Gilbert book.
Fear Doesn’t Get to Drive
This one is especially relevant to me right now as I just quit my first job to pursue a new one in a whole other state. That was scary. The entire process had me freaked out. I am still scared to start my new job! But I am also excited and passionate about learning new things. I want to be the person that chooses my passion whenever presented with both fear and passion. It’s just a little hard because fear is an innate human emotion; a survival instinct meant to keep us alive. Liz said we can’t throw out fear.
Liz’s visual: You’re on a road trip your driving, your creativity is riding shotgun, and fear is in the backseat. Here’s what Liz says to fear:
“I recognize and respect that you are a part of this family, and so I will never exclude you from our activities, but still — your suggestions will never be followed. You’re allowed to have a seat, and you’re allowed to have a voice, but you are never allowed to have a vote. You’re not allowed to have a road map; you’re not allowed to suggest detours; you’re not allowed to fiddle with the temperature. Dude, you’re not even allowed to touch the radio. But, above all else, my dear old familiar friend, you are absolutely forbidden to drive.” — Elizabeth Gilbert, Big Magic
