You choose your environment
For the full experience, listen to Subtleties (Never Giving Up on You) — The Regrettes
By now, we all we’re aware of how greatly we’re influenced by what we see on TV or in the pages of a magazine. We might not always act on this awareness, but we do realise the damaging effect of the media and entertainment industry.
And yet, we forget that these aren’t the only things influencing us daily; we forget that our environment is influencing us hundreds of times per day, whether that’s a fatphobic comment by a friend or a fitness account on Instagram. We are the product of everything we see, hear, say and do.
A lot of things may be out of our control when it comes to our environment, but we still have a say in the people we surround ourselves with. We still choose the media we consume, the books we pick up in a store, and the places we spend our time.
You can choose who and what you surround yourself with. You can choose to distance yourself from people that don’t share your values. You can choose to mute or unfollow accounts that don’t bring you joy. You can choose to work towards your goals and surround yourself with things that fuel this.
Take the agency in your surroundings, even when it feels selfish.
Try to do the following this month:
- Try to keep track of how you feel after using a social media platform. If you notice certain accounts make you feel negative emotions, remove them. And replace each one with an account that makes you feel good.
- Take charge of your time. Choose carefully how you spend it, whether that’s going for a walk, reading a book, seeing a friend or none of those things. Remember that time is your currency so spend it wisely, don’t just give it away.
- Choose your media carefully. That doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy a Netflix binge — go for it! But avoid things that make you feel worse about yourself. What you watch is what you support.
“When’s the time I’m gonna say “I love you”
And know what it really means to let it seep through?
I’m so tired of soaking up the subtleties”
Listen: In their podcast, Should I Delete That?, Em Clarkson and Alex Light discuss feminisim, mental health, grief, self-love and so much more. They interview fascinating guests and offer their unfiltered truths. No other podcast has made me laugh or cry like this one, and I feel so much lighter just from listening.
Read: Back with more Alex Light, you’ve got to check out her book, You Are Not a Before Picture*. It’s the best book I’ve ever read on eating disorders and body positivity. She combines her personal experiences with input from experts and scientific research to show just how disordered society’s views on eating and bodies has become.
Watch: I stumbled upon Hacks accidentally, and thank god I did! This show is hilarious and yet also heartwarming. The two female leads are seductively unlikeable and provide the perfect contrast for one another. This is also the best portrayal of a bisexual character I’ve seen on screen.
Why Do We Try to Fix the Inside by Changing Our Outside?
“You leave your breakup chat and immediately call the hairdresser on the walk home. You feel lonely and it’s stirring up that fear of abandonment, so you pull out your laptop to do some online shopping. Your depression is getting worse, so you decide to get another piercing, as that will make everything better.”
6 Green Flags in a Friendship
“We spend a lot of time looking for — and discussing — red flags. Whether it’s in a friendship or a romantic relationship, we’re often aware of potential red flags. We’ve all heard them before: they put you down, they refuse to apologise, and so forth. But something that we consider less is potential green flags in a friendship. The moments that confirm someone as a good friend, as a healthy influence in your life.”
No One Told Me That Making Friends as an Adult is This Difficult
“You’re led to believe this myth that making friends as an adult is just as easy as when you were younger. So when you become an adult and discover that you don’t have many friends around, you lack the skills to solve it.
You’re left feeling like you’re the problem and that no one else feels this way.”