Lying To My Dentist About How Much I Drink (And Other Stories)
I had my first visit with our new dentist yesterday. My wife had been once, but several of my appointments were postponed. I need to take antibiotics before any dental procedure because of my shoulder prosthesis. Even though the replacement was three years ago, my orthopedic surgeon thinks it’s best to be cautious, because “bacteria love metal,” she says, and the mouth is an easy portal for them. Twice I either forgot to take the meds, or didn’t have them in time, and had to reschedule. The last time, someone on their staff tested positive for COVID, causing the office to close.
But there I was, at last, filling out the health history and all the usual insurance paperwork, wondering how many people lie, like I do, answering the question about alcohol consumption. How much per day? How much per week? Does everyone either say “No” (as in “I don’t drink”) or give the figure “1–2 per day?”
Do all health practitioners read those and laugh?
My teeth are nice and white again now, though, with all the coffee and red wine staining removed. Too bad no one other than my wife can see them, because we’re all wearing masks. That’s true for nose hairs, too. I’m glad she gets to see my refreshed smile, anyway.
I have a little recession, some bone loss, a bit of gingivitis, but none of it is anything to be concerned about. She uses the term “COVID gingivitis,” as she’s seeing a lot of patients like that, and thinks mine will go away once I’m on a regular schedule again.
I had no cavities until I was twenty eight. I remember my first one was fairly traumatic for me, like a dam had been breached or a protective wall. I have had a handful of cavities over the years and I’ve had some wisdom teeth taken out and some other work, but for the most part I’ve had terrific teeth probably by dint of genetics. I’ve been a faithful toothbrusher, but I haven’t been a fanatic either, so some of it has to be DNA, I assume.
It was good to remember my history of cavity-free years and of having no fear of going to the dentist. I had forgotten, for years, even though I look at my teeth every day in the mirror. I felt grateful for my good teeth and for that moment in time to remember.
It’s the forgetting isn’t it? We all have moments of gratitude in our lives. it’s hard to be a sentient being and not have some. But we do forget about the good things in our life both in the present and in the past. Hell, that’s why we have lost and found departments. We forget stuff.
I realize some of this is designed by evolution to help us live our lives not having to think about certain matters and be able take them for granted. Like food security, if we have it. We can trust that our cars are going to start and that we’re going to come home to a warm house on these dark winter nights. I get all that and yet it does somehow mitigate against feeling gratitude at points.
Because we forget.
Somewhere, Gabriel Garcia Marquez said, “Human beings are not born once and for all on the day their mothers give birth to them, but . . . life obliges them over and over again to give birth to themselves.”
We have to keep reinventing ourselves and working on our stories. We forget stuff.
