Devoted Christian Donald Trump Shares Thoughts on Holy Week

1. Judas a Sucker and Loser for Throwing Away 30 Perfectly Good Pieces of Silver

2. Savvy Genius Pilate Did Whatever the Hell He Wanted

3. Money Lenders Treated Very, Very UNFAIRLY

4. Hostage Barrabas Rightfully Pardoned

5. Peter’s Denials Roy Cohn’s Favorite Part

6. King Who Gave Gold Outwitted by Other Two

7. WAR ON CHRISTMAS OVER!

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