Indefinite

How old are you? Picture the number in your head. Trace the soft edges of the digits in your mind’s eye. Feel the sharp contours of its texture as you remember the sum totality of your life’s moments condense into those numbers.
I’m 24.

I’m 24 and I am…. And I do…. And I live…. Those statements are hard for me to finish. I mean, at what point can we accurately define it? When does our answer become ‘real’ or ‘permanent?’ I’ve spent most of my life engaged in this dialogue with myself- wondering who I am.

I don’t think I’ll ever know. Every time I’ve guessed at it, I’ve been left either grasping or feeling claustrophobic in the tiny confines of these finite words: ‘student’ ‘son’ ‘entrepreneur’ ‘writer’…

I read this book recently that discussed our concept of time and perception of and place in the universe. It made me think deep and confusing thoughts and I’m not sure that most of them ended in anything productive. But I did come to terms with something that I think is meaningful.

I realized our eternal infancy. We are being born again and again within this very moment. It is an endless recycle of intention and choice. I carry all that was before me and contain all that can be. I am endless potential.

I am alive. And I do my will. And I live infinitely in this moment brimming with love.