Brooklyn

Brooklyn is huge. Sure, geographically Queens is bigger, and so is Staten Island, but somehow it’s Brooklyn that provides the feel of endlessness, in part because if you struggle to find the next subway, you are suddenly in a maze of redbricks and brownstones.

Also because, hey, it’s huge. Brooklyn’s population is a little less than Greater Manchester’s — all ten districts of it. I ended up going to Dumbo, Brooklyn Heights, Prospect Park, Prospect Heights and Williamsburg, all of which vary from one another, but all of which are very distinctly Brooklyn.

All images November 21st, 2017 except Williamsburg, November 24th, 2017.

Little known fact: the Brooklyn Bridge extends back to about 10th Avenue. (In all seriousness, it starts about in line with Lexington).

Once you’re off Manhattan, you can escape all that hazardous concrete and asphalt for the safety of rickety wooden planks.

Brief reminder: Brooklyn, like pretty much anywhere outside the southern tip of Manhattan, was once its own separate city before it got swallowed up in the expansion. Back at City Hall, Bill de Blasio thinks of this sign and rubs his hands together. “Yonkers will fall,” he says, “like all the others! Hahahaha!”

The East River and the Upper New York Bay, which is named this despite being south of almost all of New York City and New York State.

There were crosswinds, the most reassuring form of weather when walking on a bridge.

Governors Island, sort of.

When crossing the Brooklyn Bridge, you eventually reach Brooklyn. Whilst it is quicker, including check-in and security, to walk across state lines from Midtown, fly from Newark to JFK and take the subway in, most New Yorkers regard this as being less authentic.

DUMBO, named because most of it isn’t Down Under Manhattan Bridge Overpass.

Once again, the unmitigated terror of a hard road surface and dry land arrives.

Street view of Dumbo.

“Dumbo Heights” sounds grand, like there’s a whole up-and-coming neighbourhood just off the bridge — except they’re just referring to this building.

Perhaps.

Oh, go on then.

Not sure when this went up. It looks recent. I have no idea who it might refer to.

The Manhattan Bridge, which can easily be accessed from this point by jetpack. Completed in 1909.

The Dumbo Reflector, which lights up in response to being tweeted about, and also wanders the neighbourhood — so if you visit Dumbo, you probably won’t find it here.

The reflector in Magic 8-ball mode, indicating “Jury’s Still Out”, to a hopefully not-too-vital question.

Monument to William Jay Gaynor, mayor of NYC, 1910–1913.

In Brooklyn, you get two choices of building: redbrick, or brownstone.

Empire Stores, Dumbo. “Feed” is probably meant to invoke post-ironic hipsterdom and not Soylent Green, but who’s to say?

The Manhattan Bridge, easily accessed from this point by catapult.

Jane’s Carousel, a famous carousel from… Ohio. Now in Brooklyn, behind glass so your sprogs don’t rub their sticky hands on it.

The Brooklyn Bridge, easily accessed from this point via suction cups.

Bargemusic, which hosts music events. On a barge. Nearby is a well-known store where you can pay the GDP of a medium-sized emerging economy for an ice cream.

The Statue of Liberty, viewed from Brooklyn Heights.

Pop-Up Pool, which was closed in November because even in America, there aren’t enough people mad enough.

Another redbrick, Brooklyn Heights.

Brooklyn Heights is allegedly less than one square kilometre in size. Wikipedia also claims a population of 20,000, which seems about right.

The eastern border of Redbrickistan.

Brooklyn Borough Hall, formerly the City Hall before the aforementioned swallowing-up of Brooklyn.

Statue of Christopher Columbus, in front of a King’s County courthouse where he’d quite possibly be tried nowadays.

In Queens, JFK gets an airport; the next borough over, he gets a small monument. In fairness, he was from Massachusetts.

The arch at Grand Army Plaza, Prospect Park.

The entrance beyond the Plaza at Prospect Park.

Street view, Prospect Heights.

An egg cream. As Wikipedia notes, “the drink contains neither eggs nor cream”. It does, on the other hand, contain carbonated water, so it’s not just a milkshake.

This is exactly as filling as it looks. Also with some kind of burger sauce that strips the lining off your oesophagus. Do not overuse.

The place in question — Tom’s Restaurant in Prospect Heights. Established 1936, popular enough to have graffiti outside saying how good it is.

More of Prospect Heights.

Nice try, Brooklyn.

Bedford Avenue and North 7th, Williamsburg.

Local graffiti. It’s not quite all gentrified. Not yet.

Williamsburg doesn’t quite have an exact grid pattern, which means you can end up… somewhere.

And on somewhere is the Century Club, where about half a million businesses have a little advert outside.

You’d imagine this wine bar would be named after Allan Pinkerton, the famous detective and spy, but this is Williamsburg — it might well be referencing that Weezer album.

“Our income scattered and flew away to the Land of Rent, just like these birds.”

Apparently, this is a residential building, not some startup accelerator.

Presumably by the same person, but in a different neighbourhood.

And here you go: all the music acts that are, as of December 2017, no longer cool.

Some Places Stereotype Themselves, Pt. 1: Apple store in post-industrial space, Williamsburg. Not quite visible in the photo: a Whole Foods across the road (no, really).

Some Places Stereotype Themselves, Pt. 2: animal rights graffiti, Williamsburg.

Some Places Stereotype Themselves, Pt. 3: app-enabled dog kennelling, Williamsburg.

Love Never Gives Up. Undeniably true, but love doesn’t work full-time, or have any outgoings. Love has it pretty easy, to be honest.

American flag of sorts, with butterfly motifs in place of stars.

“Everything is possible with coffee”. Well, maybe.