Manhattan

It’s nice to imagine there’s a ‘real Manhattan’ that isn’t full of tourist stuff, but in truth this might just be any non-remarkable residential building. Below 59th Street, it’s pretty easy to run into something at least moderately famous. Being located in Murray Hill meant being pretty much on the way to everywhere, at least in Midtown and Lower Manhattan (for one thing, the nearest subway station was Grand Central).

All photos November 17th-24th, 2017.

Lower Manhattan

Defined as any point on the island below 14th Street, where the grid pattern breaks down.

The World Trade Center Transportation Hub, or Oculus, which opened in 2016. Meant to resemble a bird; I’m not quite seeing it.

On the other hand, this makes Grand Central look like a garden shed.

1 World Trade Center, opened 2014, 541m in height and unmissable anywhere in Manhattan or western Long Island the Empire State isn’t busy photobombing.

A church in the Financial District.

The squirrels in Battery Park seem to be friendlier than elsewhere. Of course, they don’t have to pay the prices at the nearby food trucks.

Korean War memorial, Battery Park. 909 British soldiers died in the war between 1950 and 1953, and over 140 went missing, something you’re reminded of in the actual UK about zero times any given year.

Ellis Island, as viewed from the very tip of Manhattan.

The big orange paddling dog that takes you to not-New-Jersey.

The gateway to not-New-Jersey. Quite big — but then again, the population of Manhattan during working hours is around 3.9 million, a hefty chunk of them being Staten Islanders and tourists going through here.

The skyline. Maybe it’s the angle, maybe it’s the changes over the years, but this seems very, very different from the one you see in films.

1 New York Plaza is the southernmost skyscraper in Manhattan, and was commissioned and built by people who didn’t realise that ‘southernmost skyscraper in Manhattan’ is not a prestigious claim to fame.

The headquarters of Standard & Poor’s, whose poor standards provided a set of green lights to the global financial crisis of 2008.

Not entirely sure which offices these are, but they considered this artwork a good idea. It’s not bad, per se, but it does evoke this.

There’s no one set of Xmas lights in New York; the trees just gradually acquire lighting through November and December.

Wall Street. Not quite the urban canyon of evil it’s often portrayed as, not least because it’s the mere centre of a wider district. The Trump Building is there, but Trump didn’t build that, so it doesn’t even have his horrendous aesthetic sense attached.

Nice try, Manh — oh wait, this is the Flatiron.

Wall Street, near Federal Hall.

Federal Hall, plus a food truck vendor who knows exactly where to position things.

At first it might seem odd that the New York Stock Exchange would cover up neoclassical architecture with a giant banner ad, but then you realise it’s exactly what the modern financial industry would do.

George Washington, who vaguely disapproves of all this. Minimum wage laws? Paying wages at all? Truly, America has gone soft.

No comment.

It’s almost impossible, on a weekend evening, to get a photo of Fearless Girl without tourists getting into your shot.

It is, on the other hand, actually impossible in the same timeframe to get a photo of Charging Bull without someone wandering into your shot. Here’s Charging Bull, with some guy who will now receive yours and my anonymous condemnation.

Greenwich Village — although this was Thanksgiving night, hence the quiet.

Of course, it was New York Quiet, not anywhere else quiet. Also, there’s a large steamy pipe in the middle of Bleecker Street.

The real-life entrance to 177A Bleecker Street, which is not even slightly the Sanctum Sanctorum.

Midtown

Midtown lies between 14th and 59th Street, and happens to be the area of New York City where the street patterns are at their most idiot-proof. But woe betide the idiot who assumes that 5th Avenue (for example) is the fifth avenue as counted from any logical spot.

This is where, even more than Lower Manhattan, the amount of Famous Stuff reaches a feverish intensity, to the point where it becomes almost impossible to not run into something important.

Also, the Empire State photobombs everything.

“Love” sculpture, 55th Street.

The Chrysler Building is oddly skinny, which probably helps to contribute to the impression that it’s a much smaller building than the Empire State, despite being only around 60m smaller.

The UN’s Secretariat Building. Despite this being the famous bit, the interior shots you see on the news are actually in that beige building to the lower left of the frame. Designed by Oscar Niemeyer, who also designed the civic buildings in Brasilia.

From background to foreground: Avengers Tower’s disappointing real-life counterpart, Grand Central Terminal, and Pershing Plaza.

South-west view from the hotel rooftop.

Grand Central Station. Somehow, the entire design is divorced from the idea that trains run here, and the station has an onion on its belt, as was the style at the time.

The Empire State in a deliberate shot, from the far end of Lexington (Park, Madison and 5th are also between the camera and building).

Unlike the Chrysler, the Empire State is a chunky building. It cost $3.8bn to build in 2016 money, and the owners started construction (with the demolition of the old building) 24 days before the Wall Street Crash.

172 Madison Avenue. Apartments start at $1.6m for a 1-bedroom. The 3-bedroom ones start at $14m.

More of Manhattan’s steamy pipes.

Buildings around the Murray Hill/Gramercy area.

Midtown Comics, whose name disguises the fact that it’s very near —

Times Square. Contrary to both its name and its pop-culture presence, Times Square is a district, and stretches for several blocks.

McDonalds! Also a memorial to some dude, whose family must be loaded beyond belief given the rents Times Square demands.

You can’t save the world alone, but you can’t guarantee your bottom line with these guys either. Luckily, there’s always Sesame Street. Those motherfuckers deliver.

The headquarters of the New York Times, where they are probably still obsessing over Hillary Clinton’s emails whilst nodding sagely at David Brooks’ latest ramblings.

The Winter Market, Bryant Park.

Ice rink.

Xmas tree, near the New York Public Library.

Statue of Gertrude Stein. Probably not part of the Winter Market, but they do have some odd stuff there; it’s not quite out of place.

Ceiling detail of the entrance to the Chrysler Building.

The Oyster Bar Taurant, Grand Central.

The ceiling at Grand Central.

One Rockefeller, slightly unfinished.

The New York Public Library, or at least the front of it. The building extends several storeys underground.

The reading room, which nobody reads in because jerkass tourists take photos of you if you do.

A giant cake in Times Square. I didn’t eat it, so it’s not in the Food section below.

“Image does not depict coverage” because some of you are stupid, and think Middle of Fucking Nowhere, Wyoming gets the same broadband speed as New York City.

Times Square Studios, complete with ticker that dates photo to late 2017. You can tell, see, because ESPN is still a going concern.

Small part of Hell’s Kitchen.

Church in Hell’s Kitchen.

The Diamond District sounds fancy, but it’s literally one block with these diamond lampposts at the entrance. New York is nothing if not some terrific branding.

On the other hand, what’s in the Diamond District is fancy, if a bit predictable.

Some weird socialist detailing at Rockefeller Plaza. Apparently the owners nowadays are a little embarrassed about it.

Rockefeller Plaza’s tree. Under construction, apparently.

30 Rock.

Saks Fifth Avenue. It’s all tasteful and low-key, see.

The entrance to the British Empire Building, Rockefeller Plaza.

The Great Photobomber as viewed from the pavement.

The Lyceum Theatre, interior shot.

The Lyceum Theatre, exterior shot.

A slightly blurry attempt at a panorama. The point is, if you stand in the right place, you can get both Times Square and the Chrysler Building in the same shot.

Some understated Xmas decorations.

Some oversized Xmas decorations.

Some sort of news corporation, doubtless run by someone who hates Xmas.

Radio City Music Hall.

View of 39th Street on Thanksgiving morning.

“Ignorance and stupidity shall be the instability of our times.”

Inside Rockefeller Plaza, there’s a chandelier literally too big to frame.

Looking south towards Lower Manhattan.

Looking east towards Queens.

North towards Harlem and (east background) The Bronx.

Northeast view featuring 432 Park Avenue, 425m and the tallest residential building in the world as of 2017.

Southeastern view towards Brooklyn.

Southeastern view across Midtown. Unfortunately, I got some New Jersey in this; I have tried to keep it to a minimum, and I apologise for any offence I have caused.

Near Hudson Yards, south of Hell’s Kitchen.

Even this photo doesn’t quite capture it, but Hudson Yards is basically one massive building site.

10th Avenue at sunset.

Heading southwards, the start of massive foot blisters. Also the High Line.

Yes, it’s tourist-y, and they should do something about that. But at sunset, you can get this shot.

On your right, you can find some apartments designed by Zaha Hadid, which you can’t afford to live in. No, not even you, person-who-has-won-the-lottery (I’m not even kidding, either. The first Hadid penthouse sold for $50m).

More High Line.

View of 10th Avenue from a grandstand-like installation.

Artwork lining the route.

By the end, it had somewhat stopped being sunset.

For a week, this was the sign I was nearly home. I think I should get one. It’s cheaper than those damn apartments at any rate.

Upper West/East Side

Between 59th and 110th Street, albeit with one honking obstacle in the middle, and Spanish Harlem starting from East 96th. Didn’t visit this too much.

Church on Broadway and 86th, Upper West Side.

Many years ago, the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade became too overcrowded, and so Macy’s decided to make blowing up the balloons an event in itself. Now this event’s overcrowded too. In 2050 we’ll probably all wait hours to crush into an office in July and watch the planning staff draw up Gantt charts and itineraries. And by ‘we’, I mean other people; I didn’t really stick around.

Argosy Book Store; even setting aside the being-a-bookstore, it’s nothing like Argos, and none of these books happens to be the Laminated Book of Dreams.

The Queensboro Bridge, as viewed from Roosevelt Island.

The view north, showing the Upper East Side along FDR Drive.

Roosevelt Island itself is an odd place, like someone made a chunk of New York that isn’t any particular borough.

The Metropolitan Club on 5th Avenue and 60th. Joining costs a mere $5,000/year as of 2014, and if you are or know someone called ‘Vanderbilt’ or ‘Roosevelt’ it probably helps too.

5th Avenue and Something Street, on the Upper East Side.

Ai Weiwei at it again, this time at the edge of Central Park.

Statue in what the signage refers to as ‘Grand Army Plaza’. Nice try, Manhattan.

Inscope Arch, in Central Park.

A huge chunk of Manhattan bedrock. Climbing it results in:

This view.

Harlem

The area north of 110th, although in practice I never got past around 139th Street. Harlem feels a little bit Bronx-y, although it’s obviously got Manhattan wealth about it, at least where I went. Slightly above that (c. 143rd Street) there was a huge, six-alarm fire the night I arrived in New York (no-one died, to my knowledge), and you could see vast black smoke-clouds against the sunset. It was a pretty grim start to things.

Junction at 125th Street, one of the major east-west routes in Harlem.

The Apollo Theatre. Apparently not what it used to be — but the jazz and soul genres it used to host aren’t either.

The Adam Clayton Powell Jr. State Office Building, named after the first African-American New Yorker to be elected to Congress, and meant to resemble an African mask. Highly controversial at the time of its construction, it’s also (19 storeys) the tallest building in Harlem.

The view up Malcolm X Boulevard (all the Avenues rename once you reach Harlem, and attempts to navigate become futile).

Going to Harlem? Don’t know your civil rights figures? Well, tough.

Amphitheatre in the park. In summer, probably used for things. In November, useful for teenagers to loiter in.

Wide shot, Marcus Garvey Park.

A building of some description, definitely in a location, Harlem.

Once again, I shot first and asked questions later. This is somewhere around 118th Street, and I count at least three styles of architecture going on here, or at least three variants of one.

Minton’s is the jazz club on 118th where bebop, and hence modern jazz from the mid-1950s onwards, was invented. It is also the place that is $40+ per course, so I walked on.

Harlem rowhouses.

Street art somewhere around 138th Street.

Georgian Revival houses on Strivers’ Row, West 138th between 7th and 8th.

Colonial Revival houses lining 138th and 139th Streets between 7th and 8th, making up the bulk of Strivers’ Row.

Vast mural on the side of the Harlem Hospital Center.

Southwards shot from 135th Street. Subway managed about 100 blocks — i.e. around 5 miles — long before it got dark.

Food

I understand not wanting to eat anything too weird, but I’m not one of those alleged people who go abroad and eat exactly what you could at home, either.

Most of the stuff I did eat, however, came from Murray Hill. Even with the subway, you can only get to the outer boroughs so fast.

A bagel with cream cheese.

Pancakes from Scotty’s Diner, Lexington and 39th. Recommended.

Dotari noodles from I-forget-exactly-where, near 6th on 32nd Street in Koreatown. I gave up on the chopsticks about 20 seconds in.

A black-and-white cookie. No orange bit, but otherwise like a big Jaffa cake. From Daniel’s Bagels, 3rd Avenue between 37th and 38th.

Waffles from Penelope’s, Lexington and 30th. Insanely good.

Hot dog from Papaya Dog, 5th and 33rd.

Various cookies from a Whole Foods on 125th.

Ham and cheese empanada, from the Winter Market in Bryant Park.

Churros with Spanish hot chocolate, same location.

Turkey club panini, from a bodega on Lexington and 39th, because Thanksgiving had to be celebrated somehow.

Pumpkin pie, Scotty’s Diner.

Knish, Bryant Park.

Chocolate babka. Yeah, I ate all the stuff in Bryant Park. It was ten minutes away.