One Week Later: Build Your House on These Rocks You Can Kick
They chucked ol girl the deuces. They said ‘bless the Lord and the door and don’t let the latter hit you where the former split you!’ They said all are welcome in the kingdom of God but you ain’t welcome here. They said ‘be gone you troublesome woman you!’ The whole thing is hilarious to me. At least it is from the outside looking in. I’m sure it sucked for her. And them. The ‘them’ and ‘they’ I’ve been referring to is the church. The church that had a viral moment recently after giving a lady the boot.
In the letter posted online, the church listed various reasons for giving her the old heave ho. Mostly noted were her initiating separation ‘without good cause’, infidelity, refusing counsel from leadership, and general wilding out on social media. This has, of course, sparked all sorts of talk. Internet talk. ‘This why I don’t like church’ talk. Everyone in their feelings. And I get it. I really do. I get it because this letter highlighted the biggest thing people hate these days: accountability. The thing about churches is that they’re voluntary organizations. They’re not government institutions. Nobody has to let you come. We expect that churches welcome all, simply because that is the precedent that has been set. But here’s the thing everyone ignores: a church is supposed to be a group of likeminded people. A group of people in theory only bound together by a shared belief system. Part of that belief system is a standard of behavior. If someone doesn’t share those beliefs, or regularly displays behavior outside of what that group deems acceptable, why do they have the unalienable right to remain a part of that group?
How many groups exist in which someone can blatantly violate the tenants of that group but still be allowed to show up every week. Even more than that, how many groups allow people to speak ill of the group and leaders of the group and just keep on keepin on? That’s absurd, right? You can’t be a member of PETA while bringing chicken salad sammiches to every meeting. You can’t be a member of a Save the Whales group and punt empty cans into the ocean. Could you climb a Tibetan mountain to hang with silent monks and decide to sing Beyonce as you did your chores? Of course not. But for some reason, folks have decided that the Christian church is the one place that isn’t allowed to hold members to a standard of behavior. And get this: those same folks criticizing the church for this will happily also criticize it when it’s members act unChristian like. They’ll look at the woman cheating on her spouse and initiating separation and say ‘see that’s why I don’t like Christians. They act like they’re better than us but do the same thing’. Then they’ll look at the church that addresses her behavior and say ‘see that’s why I don’t like Christians. Being judgemental and up in other folk’ business’. Can’t win for losing.
I get it, though. Because ultimately what the issue is here is what I said before: accountability. People want to be able to do what they want to do. They don’t want anyone telling them how to live, what to do, what’s right or what’s wrong. People want church as long it stays in it’s place. And that place is to make them feel good, give them some community, and support them when they want it. That’s it. As soon as it goes beyond it, folks have a problem. As soon as there’s a standard to be met, there’s a problem. Because that means you have to be accountable to others. That means you have to live what you claim. That means you have to adjust your lifestyle to what this faith you claim to follow says instead of molding your faith around the beliefs you already held. Ultimately it means that you answer to God. He doesn’t answer to you. And that ain’t fun. That ain’t easy. And sadly, most folks just don’t want to hear that.
