Hector Xtravaganza 的故事
Hector Xtravaganza 於2018年12月去世，享年60歲。
Ballroom界重量級的Icon，也是愛滋權益宣導倡議人士，生前曾擔任影劇《POSE》的顧問。由於他的影響與貢獻深遠，今年紐約市長還宣布3月9日為「Hector Xtravaganza紀念日」。
以下訪談摘自 《Voguing and the House Ballroom Scene of New York City 1989–92》。
童年 Early Days
我原本是雙胞胎。但我的姐妹在出生時夭折了。
當時是1950年代，還沒有產後憂鬱症的概念。母親並不想要我，她自己也承認，因為她想要女兒。辛苦懷胎，生下的女兒卻死了，作為一個女人，母親立刻崩潰，並受產後憂鬱症所苦。她也因此遺棄了我，我是祖母帶大的。
九歲時，我再度見到母親，她和我其他十二個兄弟姊妹住一起，是個大家庭，我以前從來沒看過這麼多人。但我的家人們都排拒我，因為是我的原生父親是黑人，我是母親和一名軍人所生下的。雖然我的其他兄弟們也都是混血、也是有色人種，但我卻來自另一個男人。所以我待在家裡受到其他人的歧視。
十四歲時，母親再度遺棄我，我開始在街頭討生存。
家 The House Ballroom Scene & Xtravaganza
我第一次接觸Ballroom是因為Dorian Corey。我是波多黎各人，Dorian也是混血，我們有著共通點。她就像我的阿姨，她會帶我去Ball，保護著我，凡事跟著她完全沒問題。Dorian很快就理解了我身上的故事。無論何時，她總能給我一個再單純不過的擁抱，讓我感到安全。
在街頭，我認識一群同樣無家可歸，互相關愛彼此的人。這個小家庭就是Xtravaganza的前身。在1982年我們取了Xtravaganza這個名字，1983年正式以家族的身份走上ball。Hector Val是當時的father，他在1985年去世，那一年我在檢查時發現自己是HIV陽性。到受訪的現在已經25年了。
Angie Xtravaganza從一開始就是mother。她也是波多黎各人。老Hector去世後，我們好一陣子沒有father，Angie曾一度同時擔任father和mother，但她也在1993年去世。之後David Padilla（以前是Ebony）成為我們的father，他以前是Ebony家唯一的拉丁裔，當了我們好一陣子的father。其後Shady Louis成為father，我則接在他之後。當Father是一件非常不容易的事情。
我曾一度辭去faher的身份，因為這任務真的太艱辛了。我給他們三年的時限來找新的fahter，但他們還是沒能找到，所以我又回來，然後我又再度辭去father的身份。
我後來成為了grandfather，因為我是家族裡最年長的一員。我就是House of Xtravaganza的活歷史。我與家族分享一切，與家族共食共寢，與家族一同悲泣哀戚，甚至安葬我逝去的家族成員。
我與家族分享一切，與家族共食共寢，與家族一同悲泣哀戚，甚至安葬我逝去的家族成員。
但我也不只待在自己的家族，我在其他House也有一席之地，我是一大群孩子們的father，即便他們和我隸屬不同家族。例如House of Kahn或House of Ebony。我會在別的家族收gay son，我也大方承認。而這打破了家族之間的疆界。
我也不是對每個人都無差別視作親人的。像Octavia，她就是我唯一的同志姐妹。她占有慾強，不會允許我有其他的姐妹。雖然一大群人都自稱他們是我的sister或brother，可是我不曾和你分享一切，不曾和你一起哭泣，不曾和你共寢，不曾和你一起待在街頭。然而所有的這些事物，我都和Octavia一起經歷過。
歸屬 Family & The Ball Scene Today
現今的Ballroom場景欠缺指引。更不幸的是，現在很多年輕人根本也不在乎。過去更強調家庭價值，現在沒有了。即使資歷較深的後輩，也已經失去家庭的價值觀。
擁有好朋友是件很幸運的事，但是了解自己的家族成員，則完全是另一件事。我把了解我的家人，我的親人作為人生志業。 Xtravaganza就是我的血肉。如果你進行了DNA測試，結果會顯示出滿滿的「X」。 我的血型是X型。
我不是屬於「House of Xtravaganza」，我屬於「Xtravaganza」這個「家」。我們原本就已經是個家庭，之後才叫它House，它不單單只是個House而已。這本來就是我的家，是為了要走Ballroom的目的，才會用House來稱呼它。釐清這一點非常重要。
Early Days
I was a twin. My twin sister passed away at birth. Back then, in the 1950s, there was nothing called postpartum [postnatal] depression. It’s recognised today, but it wasn’t back then.
So my mom didn’t want me, she admitted it. Because she wanted a girl. When you’re nurturing your stomach, and you get a girl who dies, as a woman you immediately freak out. So she went into postpartum depression. So my mother abandoned me, and my grandmother raised me. So that’s how I was raised.
I met my mother again when I was nine. When I met her she was with all my brothers and sisters, 11 boys and one girl. And my mother’s thing was, you have a big family. For my it was more like a colony, I’d never seen so many people in my life.
My family rejected me because I was half-black. I was rejected. Not because I wasn’t black enough, it was more because I came from a black man. I’m a military bride. So when I met my mother — my brothers are mixed also — they were men of colour, but I was from another man. So there was discrimination within the house hold.
So my mother abandoned me again at the age of 14. That’s when I started living in the streets.
[…]
The House Ballroom Scene & Xtravaganza
The first time I came into the scene was through Dorian Corey. She was like my gay auntie. […] I’m a Puerto Rican, and Dorian is mixed, so we had this in common. […] The one time she took me to a ball… […] I was with her and under her wing and everything was fine. Dorian understood the stories of my life immediately. The fact that there was someone that at least when she gave me a hug it was pure, meant that I felt secure and safe.
In the streets I stumbled into a whole bunch of people that were also homeless but still had much love for one another, and that little family eventually became Xtravaganza. […] So we were officially born in 1983, but came up with the name in 1982. Don’t let nobody tell you any different. Hector Val was the father. Then when he passed, in 1975, that’s when I checked myself and found I was positive, and that’s 25 years from today. […]
Angie Xtravaganza was the mother from the beginning. She’s Puerto Rican too. After Hector died, we didn’t have a father for a while, so Angie was both mother and father for a while. But she also passed away in 1993. […] … later on David — he was an Ebony — became the father. David Padilla.
David had been the only Latino in Ebony. He became the father of Xtravaganza for a long time. Then Shady Louis became the father and I became the father after that. It’s very hard to be a father. […]
I decided to step down as father because it was too hard. I told the house they had three years to find a father. And after three years they didn’t find anybody, so I came back as father, and from there I stepped down again. […]
So I have graduated to grand father, because I’m the oldest one in the house. I am the House of Xtravaganza’s walking archive. I broke bread with my house, I slept with my house, I cried with my house, I buried members of my house.
But I don’t sit just in my house, I sit in other houses too. So I am now also father to a lot of kids outside of my house. From House of Kahn, to House of Ebony. I gave a gay son in that house, and I acknowledge that. And that’s breaking house boundaries of unity.
Being a grandfather, father, sister, brother or friend isn’t for everyone. Octavia’s my only gay sister. She is so territorial, she would not allow me to have another sister, and vice versa. Even though a lot of people would call themselves my sister or my brother, I never broke bread with you, I never cried with you, I never slept next to you, we’ve never been in the streets together. But I’ve done that with Octavia.
[…]
Family & The Ball Scene Today
Today in the ball scene, there’s no guidance at all. The youth today, a lot of them don’t care, unfortunately. Back then there was more family, now there’s none. Even with the older kids, they’re losing the family values. […]
To have best friends is a blessing, but to know your people is a whole different world. I make it my business to know my family, my blood. Xtravaganza is my blood. If you did a DNA test, it’s going to come out with Xs all over it. My blood type is X. […]
I am not in the House of Xtravaganza, I’m in the Home of Xtravaganza. We’re a home first, we call it a house but we’re not a house. I’m at home, we’ve called it a house for ballroom purposes. Don’t lose focus of that.
Chantal Regnault et al., Voguing and the House Ballroom Scene of New York City 1989-92, pp. 32-35
