Important Life Lessons I’m Teaching My Kids

Photo by Nils Stahl on Unsplash

It’s okay to have a pasty white butt if you descend from a long line of pasty white people.

Your best friend should never be a house plant.

While you should never ask a woman if she is pregnant, it is okay to ask why she is concealing a pillow under her shirt.

Don’t spend too much time worrying what other people think of you, except the…