Let’s chat about Defying Impostor Syndrome
On Friday 8th May we held our fourth Instagram live with Adama (Fullah Talks), check out the blog below to see what we discussed.
Some snippets of what we discussed below!
How do you know when you have had impostor syndrome?
Adama and Mary reflected on their personal experiences of impostor syndrome and then shared some common symptoms which include:
- Self-doubt —the fear that you won’t live up to expectations
- Attributing your success to external factors — e.g. attributing your success to luck
- Sabotaging your own success —downplaying your own expertise, even in areas where you are genuinely more skilled than others!
- Criticising your performance — agonising over the smallest mistakes or flaws in your work
- Overachieving — setting yourself very challenging goals and feeling disappointed when you fall short
Let’s talk about defying perfectionism.
Adama and Mary discussed the challenges of being a perfectionist! This is someone with high skills but low self-worth/confidence.
Instead set realistic standards for yourself. For example at work, you can speak to your manager or coworkers to understand what the ‘‘normal’ standards are so that you know whether you are being unrealistic with the standards that you have set for yourself.
Also focus on what really matters. Perfectionists have a tendency to focus on the little things and often forget about the bigger picture at hand. Instead of focusing on your mistakes, think more about the progress you have made, and the things that you’ve learnt from your experiences. This will encourage you to keep moving forward irrespective of the mistakes you’ve made.
How do you defy imposter syndrome?
Adama encouraged attendees to focus on the value that they can bring to the table. Even though you might feel underqualified, remember that you can offer a unique perspective to the conversation, and also don’t underestimate the experience you already have and the value it can bring to the meeting.
She also shared the importance of knowing your strengths and the different types of roles that you can play in meetings. There are many ways to contribute to a meeting, you don’t have to be the loudest in the room to make an impact. So even if you are not comfortable yet with sharing your ideas, you can still contribute to the meeting by backing up a coworker’s comments, asking questions, or by summarizing the points made in the meeting.
Mary also shared how she keeps an achievements list — a record of the feedback and good work she has achieved across a year. Don’t rely on your memory!
Finally, they spoke about ‘faking it till you make it’, the idea that everyone is making things up and that you’re not the only impostor!
Adama shared the quote ‘Everyone is winging it, even the people at the top’.
There are some people who act confident but don’t necessarily know it all or have everything put together, however they get further in life and are more successful by just playing the part.
What are your thoughts on this?
Thank you to those that could join in on the discussion, to find out more:
NYT Network
Adama (Fullah Talks)
Mary (A Millennial’s Diary)
