Buddhism|Mindfulness|Suffering|Hope
Oh My Buddha! Duhkha
To nirvana or not to nirvana, that is not a question but a choice
When suffering knocks at your door and you say there is no seat for him, he tells you not to worry because he has brought his own stool. — Chinua Achebe
Buddha teaches about duhkha, a Sanskrit word — often translated as suffering — not to be confused with the Egyptian delicacy dukkah (duqqa), which possibly could cause duhkha for some food lovers.
Stay with me; I shall get to that. (Take a deep breath.)
Duhkha is the first of Buddha’s four Noble Truths.
I prefer to translate it as a preoccupation. But for now, we can call it unease — something that feels uncomfortable — rather than suffering, which sounds overly painful, nihilistic, or apocalyptic: suffer illness; suffering physical or mental abuse; or suffer monetary or moral bankruptcy.
Those are qualified examples of duhkha, but my point is that it does not need to be extreme. Mundane suffering will do, like I suffer fools gladly every day, myself included. (Exhale)
Love is a suffering. One side always loves more. — Catherine Deneuve
The second of Buddha’s Noble Truth is the cause of duhkha. It can be a craving (ergo the Egyptian dukkah), thirst or hunger, addiction, an itch, a loss, or betrayal. Whatever we call it, the source of duhkha undeniably leaves the individual wanting.
We begin to suffer when it occupies our mind in such a way that we want to resolve our preoccupation with it. Again, this could be a hunger for nourishment or a loss of trust, confidence, opportunity, identity, and even hope. (Inhale)
I will now digress:
Some might argue that hope is similar to hunger, but what sets them apart is that the latter can only be satiated temporarily — hunger always returns. Desire also comes and goes. We can even temper or adjust these basic instincts: a big or small appetite; huge or growing enthusiasm.
Hope, on the other hand, is an all-or-nothing deal. One has it or doesn’t. Hope is like a whole number, which includes zero; there are no fractions or negative integers.
Although we might say little hope, it is merely a euphemism for no hope. Clinging for life on a rope over a deadly cliff could be an analogy of hope. Once we doubt ourselves, our grip weakens, and we slip and meet our karma. (Exhale)
I hope not to define myself by suffering. — Frank Ocean
Here I invite you to challenge yourself and ponder on my meaning:
Let go of hope.
Our third Noble Truth is nirvana. But hold on! Who amongst us thinks nirvana still refers to heaven, ecstasy, or an 80’s rock group?
It translates from Sanskrit as to extinguish. Nirvana is also a verb: I have nirvanaed; I will nirvana my duhkha. The word is empowering as a verb because it demonstrates that we can choose to control our circumstances rather than bowing to fate or making nirvana some biblical paradise to which only the pure and perfect can ascend. (Inhale)
Try to visualize your duhkha as a scorching flame that gets put out. Imagine the relief that follows this redemptive release from the burning shackles. (Exhale)
When you find yourself aflame, who you gonna call?
That brings us to the fourth and last Noble Truth.
Just think of the Buddha: Find a quiet spot, breathe mindfully, and meditate. It is called the way or path to nirvana, to self-extinguishing oneself of our duhkha. (Inhale)
I do not claim to have mastered this fourth Noble Truth. I am not a monk. But I train each morning as a DuhkhaBuster cadet as follows:
Typically, I wake up to the croons of warblers or caws of fighting crows; do stretches and pushups; grind fresh coffee beans to brew; do one round on Duolingo to keep my 177-day streak going; go out to water my mini veggie patch; and play a bar or two of my favourite French bossa nova tune on my piano. Then, I meditate — not necessarily in that order.
Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor. — Thich Nhat Hanh
My friends on Medium might ask me: When did you start meditating?
There’s no exact date I can recall, but I think it’s when I began to feel I was losing my mind in the years leading up to Covid-19. I was worried about my next job, financial survival, problematic family members, deep-rooted anger issues, solitude, and depression. (Exhale)
When I finally found a new job in Beijing, I felt the vibes there disturbing. I’m not referring to the local people or their culture that I respected and admired. In fact, when the political climate chills, I will eagerly revisit the Middle Kingdom.
However…(inhale)…my job as a teacher at an international school was quite different from what I had envisioned, and the gap between expectations and reality was as wide as the Yangtze River Delta.
I won’t elaborate this time, but to use a cooking analogy, I went into a kitchen to make an omelet only to find myself in a garage with no eggs or hens to lay them. But there was a blowtorch lying around in case I could lay eggs myself somehow.
Then, Covid happened, and the pandemic ironically forced me to reassess and redesign my life. I am not grateful for the disease, but the man-made life conditions did create opportunities for me to become aware of Buddha’s Noble Truths through books and social media. (Exhale)
The truths are called noble not because of their exceptional intrinsic quality. The nobleness is attributed to the individuals who strive and succeed in attaining enlightenment.
I am not interested in becoming noble; that isn't my business. However, I will continue to seek inner peace by negotiating my duhkha, step by step, through mindful breathing during meditation. (Inhale)
I am still dissatisfied with my job, struggle financially, avoid complex family issues, and get angry, lonely, and depressed. The difference is I am now aware of my inauthentic self-centered attitude, the main cause of my duhkha.
The most authentic thing about us is our capacity to create, to overcome, to endure, to transform, to love, and to be greater than our suffering. — Ben Okri
The downward spiral has decelerated with my increased commitment to self-care, transformation, and creativity. I still need to work on love though.
Hopefully, it'll come a-knockin' on my door and bring eggs and a stool.
(Exhale)
Thank you for taking the time to read! Please leave any comment or critique or a simple hello. I write for connections, not censorship. Peace!
Source: The Nobility of the Truths, Bhikkhu Bodhi © 1998
