Naked
‘This is a safe space to undress’
It took me a while to be comfortable in my nakedness.
The ‘rawest’ part of me. No comfortability or respectability came with my nakedness — even from myself.
I shied away from all naked bodies including the ones that looked like mine. I could not understand how people just walked around bearing it all. I barely exposed myself to me.
From the shower and into my clothes was the norm.
My coming of age allowed me to be comfortable in my body and I created a new routine — shower, admire then dress up. The shame that I associated with my nakedness was gone — so I thought.
My journey of life made me discover another layer of nakedness.
One so raw I could not face it in the mirror.
One so raw I had to mask it.
One so raw I had over dressed it.
I did not realize that when I got comfortable being naked, it was only the parts I saw on the surface.
Until one day my mirror shattered….and through the broken glass shards on the floor, I saw reflections of myself that I had never seen.
Reflections of a deeper nakedness — so deep in my subconscious it felt like I was staring into a naked body that was not my own.
‘Why I had never seen this in my reflection before?’
Shame?
Fear?
You see, my mirror had a glitch- it only reflected the parts of me that I wanted to see — all good. Like the mirror in Snow White that always told the witch she was the fairest of them all.
In my mirror…
I was always the fairest.
I was flawless.
I was perfect.
In reality though — I wasn’t.
To see my rawest form, I needed a new mirror.
A mirror that…
Made me feel safe.
Allowed me to be vulnerable and unashamed.
Held me accountable.
I found the new mirror — un-glitched.
As I was setting up the new mirror I looked at myself — and the mirror sparkled.
A sparkle so inviting and warm, I could hear it softly chant,
‘Ivy, this is a safe place to undress.’
‘Ivy, this is a safe place to undress.’
‘Ivy, this is a safe place to undress.’
The chant caught me off guard…and I stumbled.
‘What in the sorcery was this mirror?’
I slowly regained my balance and looked into my sparkling mirror again. The chanting continued….
‘Ivy, this is a safe place to undress.’
‘Ivy, this is a safe place to undress.’
‘Ivy, this is a safe place to undress.’
…..And for the first time, I let my guard down.
At that moment, I felt something I had never felt with my other mirror. I felt…
Seen
Safe
and Vulnerable.
I slowly started undressing, removing each layer as I scrutinized what it symbolized in my life. Each layer I removed had more layers. Some layers did not belong to me — yet here I was hiding my nakedness with them.
‘How was I doing life with what felt like a lifetime of layers on me?’
‘How could I have not seen all these layers for this long?’
Finally, my last layer of clothing was off, and in front of me stood the rawest form of me — all my fear, shame, and glory staring back at me from my new mirror.
