What Would You Rather Do?
The year is going by really fast, can’t believe it’s almost the end of March…
Lately, on NW, we’ve been talking about improving the general quality of life and building healthier relationships.
Is it healthy to hold grudges?
Ohhhhh we all at one point or the other held on to something someone did to us so much that it hurt.
Have you ever heard the saying resentment is like drinking poison and hoping for your enemies to die?
Well that kind of feels like punishing yourself doesn’t it?
Holding a grudge and harboring resentment is about as beneficial as nothing. There’s no greater feeling than having the power to truly let go and move on.
Forgiving Others
Did your parents ever upset you so much that you didn’t mind paying for your DNA test just to confirm?
I remember walking home on that day with tears in my eyes, bursting open the room door as I got into the house, and slumping into my bed before making a silent vow to never speak to him again
A few years ago my father was dead to me, I just told myself that he never existed from the onset.
It wasn’t the first time he had broken my heart but for some reason, my self-esteem took a hit that day. I stopped believing in myself, stopped believing that I could amount to anything. It took a while to get my groove back but I hated the man that I believed took it away from me in the first place.
As the years passed, I started to realize that hating him actually created a hole in me and I wanted so desperately to get rid of that hole. So I started on the path to forgiveness… Over the years I have forgiven and even rebuilt my relationship with him.
Forgiveness does not mean forgetting that the person wronged you, it does not mean approving of what the person did, condoning or excusing it, it does not mean denying it, or pretending that you are not hurt.
Instead, forgiveness is taking the weight off your shoulder. It is making sure that the hate in your heart does not consume you with it, it is choosing to rise above what happened. It means you are aware of what the other person or people have done, yet you are consciously responding from a place of love and healing your mind.
Forgiveness is never easy, I am not going to come at you like some saint who had always forgiven everyone that had crossed her path. No, I held on to my share of hate but I eventually realized that resentment towards another creates an emotional link stronger than steel and forgiveness is the way to dissolve that link and get free.
Like other human traits, some people forgive easier than others. People who tend to dwell can generally be less quick to forgive since they are more likely to hold onto grudges. Forgiveness is not for the person who hurt or wronged you, forgiveness is for you. Not forgiving a person or even yourself is like letting someone live rent-free in your head.
So what would you rather do?
Do you make that conscious decision to forgive and let go or do you continue to drag that invisible weight around?
Forgiveness is a choice, a conscious one but it’s a pretty great one.
I would love for you to let go of what is holding you back and get on the path to forgiveness if you are not already on it.
I guarantee you would feel a whole lot better.
Seeing you thrive would make me happier than seeing you consumed by hate. You know what, let me leave you with a little something
“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.”
Paul Boose“The act of forgiveness takes place in our own mind. It really has nothing to do with the other person.”
Louise Hay
Till the next time you hear from me
Be good…
xoxo,
Tope
