The Give and Take of Networking
Networking is often a great way of getting advice and assistance. However, rather than seeking favors, the core of networking is building relationships and contributing to a community. The following few traits in particular often define great networkers:
Curiosity to learn about other people and their work can underpin a genuine conversation with almost anyone. Most people love talking about themselves, and often these stories are extremely educational. The great advice that people get networking is often delivered inadvertently in these discussions. By genuinely caring about the other person’s interests, the curious networker builds connections instead of raising alarms that they are simply looking for favors.
- Enjoy the practice, networking is a great way to develop public speaking skills and learn all sorts of interesting things about what other people do. It’s surprising how often odd conversations suddenly become relevant in the future.
Generosity also almost drips off the best networkers. They are always eager to make appropriate introductions and otherwise help out when they can. Don’t worry about having a small network or little industry experience while getting started — there are many ways to contribute right out of the gate.
- Telling stories about experiences and struggles is often a real contribution. Just as curiosity can unearth valuable insights from others, each person has a unique story to share. Don’t be afraid to talk about personal struggles and professional challenges — these will often be more interesting and valuable for everyone than success stories.
- Making Introductions is easier than it seems. Often a good story can naturally reference someone you know, and the person’s interest in that comment can be a first gauge of whether they would value an introduction. It’s not unusual to make introductions to your own loose ties — even people you just met at the same event.
- Volunteering is an excellent way to grow your network. Volunteering shows eagerness to contribute and provides an official capacity for meeting very interesting people. For example, helping to organize a speaker panel is a great way to get to know each of the speakers and provides a natural invitation for introducing yourself to everyone at the event.
Classy Networkers also know the art of asking for favors.
These few tips can help build great requests:
- Be Specific in what the favor is. People want to know what they are committing to, and a well-articulated request enables can be better aligned with the following tips.
- Make it easy for the person to say yes. Don’t ask for a favor that the person can’t easily grant. Most people simply will not have the specific favors that are needed, and asking for something they cannot give crates an uncomfortable situation shows a lack of judgement. Whatever the response is, the classy networker is always gracious and respectful of their time.
- Build common ground to make themselves someone the person wants to help. For example, group affiliations such as alumni clubs can help build a connection between your request and your personal relationship. Most people remember when they were just starting out and are thankful for the help that others provided. People are most eager to give back when they see themselves in the other person.
- Align with values the person wants to promote. For example, teachers are likely to go out of their way to help educational ventures. If the request can be framed as advancing a topic the person already cares about, the request changes from a favor, to an offer to work as a team on a larger issue.
Asking changes the relationship to some degree, and this can be a good thing. For example, Mentoring is not typically a relationship of equals, but asking for mentoring can be a great compliment. Classy networkers know when to place the emphasis on others, and they typically only ask for mentoring from closer connections who have some interest in their success — often they used the tips above to build that interest over multiple interactions.
