Hollowville Circus, California
A Dazzling, Festive, Future
Hi there boys and girls! I’m Jolly and I’ll be your guide tonight; step right up and welcome to grand old Hollowville, California!
Entertainment? You’ve got it!
Refreshments? On the house!
Elephants? Wait til you see ’em dance!
Not in the mood? What does that mean? I can’t understand!
I’m afraid we don’t bring such strange concepts into the city, boys and girls, company policy! Oh dear, oh dear, we’ll have to give you an eensy warning for that, but it shouldn’t prove a problem if you don’t forget it! Here, have another ice cream.
By the way — speaking of our ice cream — our dairy here is strategically altered with state-of-the-art chemicals, bound to keep your face shining, bright, and smiling — no matter the circumstance. After all, what is it that they say… Oh yes! After all, smiles are contagious, right? So eat up that ice cream and turn that frown upside down! We haven’t had a frown in a while now, don’t make us look so bad — please!
Hey, Mr. Driver, could you slow down just a little bit, we’re getting to my favorite part: the Hollowville Strip. Thank you kindly, dear sir, and cheers to you!
Gorgeous, isn’t it? I know! Back in the day, we only had places like this in Nevada. But luckily after all those big disasters, we managed to scrape up one here in good old Cali. Now I’m being humble, of course, who could call this place a scrape up?
Oh silly me! Silly old Jolly. I’ve forgot to give you all your complimentary Hollowville soda! It’s tradition here to drink this every single morning, guys and gals. And since it’s your first day here, I don’t want any single one of you to miss out on it — really it packs a punch, you’ll see. Want another? Please, by all means! But don’t you drink yourself too much a day, folks, my friend Richie’s record was 17 before he ended up in old East Wing. By then, he was giddy as a hummingbird. What do I mean by giddy, you say? Oh goodness me I forgot to tell you what’s in the soda, jeepers! This soda, with its magnesium supplements and all that other good futuristic stuff, represses all those tickley bad thoughts in your head.
Anxiety? Out of the window! Overthinking? No more thinking! Doubt? Don’t be a square bear! This little baby is gonna make you the yessest yes man in Yestown you’ve ever seen, don’t you worry about that. Take it from your good pall Jolly. Oh and will you look at that, slow down a bit please driver sir!
I’m sure you’ve been wondering how everybody from Hollowville always looks so great and keeps their lives so well-kept. It’s because of this one area here that used to be a place called 18th Street, San Francisco. Look over there and you’ll see the Social Guru shop.
Now this may come a shock to you coming from outside, and it’s our ill-kept secret, but I’ll tell you right now! Here, they sell… drumroll please… social media plans! Yes, those rumors you’ve heard: totally true! You don’t need to think anymore about how to caption your post or what to post or even when to post. Just give your body a little spin through the scanners and doohickeys and there, file a little bit about your personality so it doesn’t look toooo fake, and wala! Our AI will just dictate to you every little step you need to get yourself out there and make the perfect personal branding. Doesn’t that sound great? Imagine how far you can get up the social ladder and the career scene with these babies. Of course, it comes at a price, but the ROI is magnificent: I’ve heard loads of success stories. The owner also wanted to let me know that there’s a huge 40% off deal right now just for all you visitors in the bus, so please just go and scan that gigantic QR code and make those transactions right now.
Oh I love the energy folks, keep it up!
Hmm, what if you’re not goodlooking enough for social media you say? We’ve got the perfect AI solution for you too! Driver! Let’s head to Styleshop! I forgot to add it to the itinerary, but it’s perfect.
So, my dearies, Styleshop is a huge mall with all the fashion brands this world could approve of — you never can have too much you know — and of course you’ll need to spend a minute or two scanning your body and facial features, and then you just need to follow the directions on the Styleshop app to buy exactly everything your wardrobe needs.
Back in the day, they could do this sort of stuff, but they still gave too much control to the user. But, in my opinion, why would you let us silly little people make bad decisions about taste, when you can become objectively attractive at the push of a button? Well, granted, you may not like every piece they recommend you, but when you see how everybody else likes it, you’re gonna love each and every one!
You can even change your body type down at floor B2— oh you’ll love floor B2! You know how back in the day people had to waste so many hours getting their body into shape? Now we have technology that is so much more inclusive for everybody, you’ve got to check out the surgery shops there. One word: magnifique!
You might want to add a day or two to your plans, ladies and gents, cuz you know these surgery things aren’t instant! But I know you want those toned abs and bubble butts and sick biceps — who doesn’t? So please, please!
And if in any way you start doubting the good old Algo that’s predicting these things’ performance, you can always down a couple sodas. A Hollowville soda a day keeps the doubt away, after all!
Oh yes, you, what’s that? You haven’t taken your soda; of course you look so skeptical! You haven’t even shown a big ole smile the whole bus ride. Oh dear, oh dear!
Oh silly new boy, don’t you worry. After some time here, you’ll get used to it! Being ‘yourself’ never got anyone that far, you know. Here you can make a new self! Why wouldn’t you want to be jolly, like funny old Jolly? Forget the inside, remember what they say, “Always judge a book by its cover!”
The inside? People outside the cities still care about that? Pfffftt, don’t mind such primitive outlooks. And, hey, it’s called Hollowville for a reason!
Sincerity? That’s outdated!
Please, drink your soda. Else we might have to ask you to leave.
Tulisan ini dibuat untuk Pekan #NyariTantangan dengan tema harian “Utopia-Dystopia”. Yuk #NyariTantangan bersama Nyarita!
