Rainy Days in New York

The camera is winding down streets, passing stores so quickly it appears to be nothing more than a fleeting image, but the familiarity of it all resonates with me: “Shanghai!” I think, and to my satisfaction I am right. The Chinese film I’ve decided to watch today is, in fact, filmed in Shanghai. I sit with amazement at the fact that I can recognize it with a few passing images of ordinary streets rather than the typical tourist landmarks associated with it.

There hasn’t been a day I haven’t thought of Shanghai since the outbreak. To say I miss it would be an understatement. Gifts for the woman whose 麻辣烫 restaurant I frequent multiple times per week lay unwrapped in my closet. I think about the days I would come home late to the dorm, the only person in her restaurant ushering to put my mountain of things down before gathering my ingredients. Her restaurant and care gave me a sense of comfort I associate with home. I think of her a lot amidst all that is going on right now, and I wonder when I’ll see her again.

Currently, I am at home in New York City attending NYU New York for the term. My 5:00 AM mornings make 6:00 AM wake-ups in Shanghai feel like a blessing. The dreary weather that has accompanied this transition has not made the adjustment any more comforting.

My first week at NYU was definitely challenging. My inability to properly navigate this city makes me debate whether I can properly call myself a New Yorker. The switch to the New York campus let a wave of loneliness wash over me, a feeling I was never acquainted with even during freshman orientation at NYUSH. The times I’ve felt most at peace is with my notebooks in hand, sitting in a lecture or in the library at work. There at least, I can keep preoccupied and busy. But when the class is done, and the homework complete, there is nothing to do that will keep thoughts of Shanghai at bay.

But the arrival of some of my fellow NYUSH peers has alleviated some of this feeling. Words cannot do justice at the feeling that overwhelms me each time I’ve seen one of them. The smile that blooms on my face when I see one of them in my class and suddenly my 8:00 AM takes on a brighter hue. The surge of happiness that energizes my spirt at the sound of my friend going 喂 as he picks up my phone call, making me laugh a little bit in embarrassment — my Chinese is more than a bit rusty. The dinners that assure each and everyone there that we are all struggling through the same thing, and that we will surmount it all together. The dinners where we reminisce at the things we miss and rejoice at the thought of returning.

Missing everyone and hoping you are well. 大家，加油！