7 Signs You’re Affected by Workplace Bullying (And What to Do)
Today’s post is brought to us by Ossiana Tepfenhart, one of Oba’s contributors from Ragged Riches. Whether you have a day job to help pay the bills while working on your passion project or have run into the following unfortunate scenarios one too many times and are ready to write off traditional employment in favor of entrepreneurialism, this article will be a lifeline for you!
Work is not always “fun,” per se, but work should never be toxic. For many of us, toxic workplaces can lead to health issues like depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and even drinking problems. (Trust me, I’ve been there.)
One of the most common causes of a toxic workplace is a workplace bully…or in some cases, multiple workplace bullies. Toxicity can also find entrepreneurs who are working with clients who just want to lord a paycheck over them.
How can you tell if an issue is all in your head or if you’re dealing with a legitimately toxic workplace? Watch for these clear-as-day signs of workplace bullying and take these tips for what to do next.
You’re left out of the loop.
When you’re working and need details from someone, are you able to reach them with ease? Or do you feel like you have to chase them around just to get basic information? Every time I’ve been “locked out” of a conversation, it’s been a case of workplace bullying.
If you ask for feedback that is concrete and direct, people who pull this move will be vague or just not tell you what’s wrong. This tactic is often a sign that your boss (or client) is trying to set you up for failure so you can get fired.
WHAT TO DO: The best thing you can do is take this as a sign that your time with these people is drawing to a close. Start applying for other gigs and jobs. While you’re at it, document every time you’ve asked for a chat or details. If you’re a W-2 worker, that documentation can be used at a workplace lawyer’s venue as proof of a hostile environment.
Brrr! It’s cold in here!
Imagine the following scenario. You hear your coworkers all laughing and having a good time. You walk in or try to join in the conversation. As soon as you ask to be included, they immediately get serious, glare at you, or otherwise whisper amongst each other.
This behavior is often the result of an office bully who badmouthed you to others. The office turned against you due to the rumors, and you’re now on the outside.
WHAT TO DO: Document everything. If you can, pull aside a trusted coworker and ask them what is going on. Sometimes, you can smooth things over by getting someone on your side. If you’re still stuck as the “odd man out,” the best thing you can do is find allies in other departments or among newbies.
Oh, and you need to change jobs. This scenario is almost always a W-2 issue rather than a freelancer or business owner issue.
Your coworkers or employers are (forcefully) trying to get in your pants.
If there was ever a sign that you need to get out of Dodge City, this is it. Asking a coworker on a date is already risky enough, but it might be okay if their advances are welcome. An ask should be a one-and-done deal, if ever done at all.
If you notice your boss icing you out after you refuse to date them or meet up with them at a restaurant, you’ve got a very hostile situation. This is a form of sexual harassment that borderlines on coercion.
WHAT TO DO: Drop your client immediately, warn others, and if you found them on a freelancer platform, report them with proof of their behavior. A good rule of thumb for all freelancers and business owners is to have a clause in your contracts barring clients from inappropriate behavior and noting that being dropped for harassment will lead to NO REFUNDS.
If you are a regular day job employee, document everything. Do not go to HR if you feel they’ll protect the perpetrator. Go to an employment lawyer and sue. If you do not want to sue immediately, go to Human Resources with the documentation and ask them for help.
You feel like you’re being set up for failure.
Many clients and bosses will hire someone for a job to get a free, personal, and human punching bag. When they get one, they will ask you to do work, and then pick apart your work. They’ll tell you to do something, only to berate you for doing the exact thing they ordered you to do.
This is called being set up for failure. They never want you to succeed. If you succeed at the task you were given, they don’t seem happy. Your bullies will actually seem more annoyed than anything else.
If you’re a W-2 employee, your boss might start to set you up for failure to fire you―even when you’re a good employee. Doing so is a move to (legally) cover their behinds after firing you for an arbitrary reason. In some cases, they may also do this to encourage you to quit so they don’t have to pay unemployment.
WHAT TO DO: Document everything, get a lawyer, and find new work as soon as possible. This situation is incredibly abusive and also may be illegal depending on the circumstances.
You realized everyone got a promotion except for you, even though you worked harder than them.
If you are a W-2 employee, there are few things as telling as the way your employer treats you about promotions. Many employers don’t really give raises or promotions as often as they should, but that doesn’t mean they are bullies. They’re just greedy.
Greed turns into bullying when you realize that you’re the only person who was not promoted in the office. When that happens, you should take a look at your work. If you worked hard and did everything right, you might be getting subtly bullied.
WHAT TO DO: Match their energy. Act your wage, and dust off that resume.
The criticism you get is excessive, cruel, and unfair.
Some people never really grew up after high school. They view work as another playground where they can bully people because it’s a power trip. Criticism tends to be the place where they get the most thrill when sinking their teeth into a victim.
Criticism can be highly constructive and teach you how to be better at your work. However, it can also be a way to hurt you without offering any genuine feedback. If criticism sounds like this, you’re being bullied:
- “The pictures aren’t good enough. Why can’t you choose normal pictures?!”
- “I don’t like this. What useless crap you’ve done.”
- “Watch your ego.”
- “You *really* think you’re worth sitting in the boardroom with us? Do you even know where you are?!”
- “You’re a cancer to this business.”
- “Oh…that outfit is a daring choice for today…”
- “Your name is so…exotic. What country is it from?”
- “This is our diversity hire, [your name]. I’m sure she’s qualified. Kind of.”
If any of these remarks sound like ones you’ve heard at work, you’re getting deeply unfair and hurtful criticism. In fact, some of these “critiques” aren’t actually critiques at all. They’re poorly veiled insults.
WHAT TO DO: Get out of that environment as soon as you can, document everything, and hire a lawyer if you feel like you have a case. In many cases, HR will cover for the bully unless you flex muscle in your court.
You notice they’re moving goal posts.
This is technically a form of “setting up for failure,” but also tends to be its own animal. Moving goalposts is something that happens with bullies who are trying to frustrate their employees or make them feel helpless — -or as a way to deny a well-earned promotion.
For example, a bully boss might tell you that you need to focus on the spreadsheets and forget about the social media scheduling. When you do the spreadsheets, your boss will yell at you for not doing the social media scheduling even when you were specifically told not to.
WHAT TO DO: While you search for a new career or a new client, get every little command your boss says in writing. This way, you can have documented proof of the goalpost moving in case you get gaslit. Talking to your local labor board and a lawyer about hostile workplaces can help, too.
If you can, leave your job for a healthier and saner opportunity. Ain’t no one got time for that shit.
Entrepreneurs don’t usually have access to an HR department, which means they are often given the short end of the stick and left to defend themselves. If you feel like you are dealing with a toxic workplace as a freelancer and don’t have any recourse for justice, follow Oba Magazine. We’re here to empower our community of creative freelancers.
