Treat Yourself This Friday By Opening As Many Tabs As You Want

Alright, you made it through another very funky work week and now it’s time to celebrate. How? By opening all the tabs you want…and leaving them open. OH NO SHE DIDN’T. Yes, you deserve a treat and the best treat of all is basking in the glow of endless tabs with zero guilt. Here’s a simple guide to really livin’ it up this Friday:

First, find the plus sign at the end of the 6 tabs you’ve already got cranking. Click that bad boy and fire up a new tab.

A critical rule here is to not spend any time worrying about closing the tabs you aren’t actively using. Any tab you open is now considered essential. THIS IS PEAK LIVING, BABAY!

*Cracks Knuckles* Now it’s time to really kick up your heels. Perhaps open a tab to look up the perfume you wore in college.

After giving yourself a few moments to recall how great Ralph by Ralph Lauren smelled, pop open a new one to google what Ginuwine’s real name is.

Woah, Elgin Baylor Lumpkin. Didn’t see that coming. No time to waste, though NEW TABS AWAIT!!!

Crank open a tab for a virtual fitness class you’re definitely not gonna take later. Who cares? Trust the process and trust the tabs.

At this point the top of your computer should resemble the tiny dots on an Influencer’s never-ending Instagram story about how they make their bed. This is a great sign that you’re finally starting to cut loose.

As if in a fever dream, you’ve now searched the difference between the word fracas and the word ruckus. You have a tab next to it that seeks to answer why the word “said” is spelled exactly like “paid” and “laid” but pronounced differently.

By now you should have ascended into a trance-like state and as the tabs grow, your anxieties and worries about the last week melt away.

Bathe in the glow of all of those tabs. Lose yourself in their vastness. Remember. you are but a small cog in a larger machine and there is no right or wrong move in this thing we call life that is likely a mere simulation.

Use this feeling of weightlessness to propel you into a weekend full of spontaneity and nonchalance. You’re a free-wheeling, wild thing and now the world knows it.

If you really like to party, leave every single tab open when you shut down your laptop for the day.

TGIF and Happy Weekend.