#49: The Swimming Goggles
Every Friday morning I go swimming before my 10am lecture. Never did I think I would ever find myself writing, or saying, that sentence, let alone find myself seriously considering buying a regular gym membership.
But I guess that’s just how times change, and how I change. I used to despise exercise, as many young girls do. PE class held some of the most horrible experiences of my childhood, filled with the pressing feeling of enormous peer pressure about my skill and my body, feeling that I have to be amazing or not try. More than that: that I have to be amazing, be the best at running or netball or rounders, but also look perfect while doing it, with no sweat whatsoever. An idyllic delusion that it has taken me years to get myself to think past and focus on myself, not others.
It’s an issue that is still relevant now, and schools are still struggling to get teenage girls engaged in physical education classes. I wish I had some bright idea to help with it all, but I’m not really sure what to do about it. I don’t really know what would have made PE class any better for me at high school, except maybe only playing sport with the friends I felt comfortable with, and who I didn’t just think were looking at me and judging me. I know now that that was probably the least of the things on their mind, but back then, it was all I could think about. The pressure of those around me, and what they thought of me.
But now, today, things have changed. I started going swimming at the start of this academic year, October 2016, and I’ve kept it up every week since. It has become one of the highlights of my week. It keeps me going, energizes me, inspires me.
I have always loved swimming, although it is one of the most body-conscious sports, so I feel pretty proud to be able to deal with that now. The thing was, I hated swimming lessons at primary school, and I hated getting water in my eyes, so I refused to put my head underwater (nobody bothered to tell me that goggles existed). This meant that I only ever picked up bits of information or lessons about actual swimming strokes, and how to do them, so until this year, all I had for my swimming skill was some mish-mash of different strokes that I could put together to make me move in the water. Which was fine, because my favourite place to swim is the sea, and I wasn’t too bothered about proper strokes, as long as I could move, and stop myself just floating away.
But I’ve learnt strokes now. Well, stroke — I’m still working on perfecting my breaststroke. I’ve gained a personal trainer (aka my boyfriend) who happens to be pretty good at swimming, which is always a bonus. But after those first few times swimming, I’ve mostly been going on my own, which is another feat in itself. Combine body anxiety with social anxiety, then you don’t normally get people like me going swimming on their own. But I do now, and it’s wonderful.
So every Friday morning I leave the house at 8:30am with coffee cup in hand to walk down the hill to the swimming pool, where I swim until I have to leave for my lecture, just a few minutes away. It’s a convenient routine, and it’s also one that I actually, whole-heartedly enjoy. Which is why I broke it today, and went swimming this morning, after already going Friday. Why? Because I’ve found that I actually work a hell of a lot better for the rest of the day, and the day after, if I’ve been swimming that morning. So today I had no classes scheduled (classic English student), and to make sure I did something energetic, I went swimming, and it helped again with my work focus. By spending the time to go swimming, it feels like my productivity and focus levels almost double.
There are numerous articles online that tell you the benefits of exercise on your concentration, stress levels, anxiety, and general mental health. From personal experience, I can confidently say that this is so, so true. I’ve found a sport that works for me, and I never thought I’d see the day (and I’m pretty sure my parents didn’t either) that I would do exercise because I enjoy it. I guess sometimes change is a good thing.
