On Male Self Image and External Sexual Validation.

It has become clear to me the extent to which our sense of self worth is based upon the constant interplay of validation and doubt sourced from our continuously fluctuating external relationships.

When a man successfully fucks an attractive women, he feels a deep sense of accomplishment; he finally feels himself worthy of women, as if he was not before; as if his value in the eyes of women and other people in general rises and falls depending on his current regularity of coitus with the women he desires.

Ofcourse, these feelings of external validation will only last a given period of time, until his next rejection, or, after a certain period of time, the same deep fears arise again; he is forever dependant on continual proof of his value from beyond himself, and in the unpredictable and complex conditions world, no man will be comfortable with himself completely, consistently, if at all.

Ofcourse, in reality, he is still the same man he was before his source of external validation; and no matter how many women he sleeps with, he will remain no more or less worthy. Though, perhaps, as a result of his conquests, he may experience a chain momentum of confidence; but even this is ultimately temporary and fragile, and, I think, not true confidence.

A truly confident man has undergone the painful process of self realisation; he understands the reality that not all women that he finds attractive will share the same desires at the same time — he knows the infinite variables involved in human relationships, and as such he see beyond the short sighted mistake of attributing his external successes and failures directly to his inner social and sexual worth.

He can look himself in the mirror and pull the ugliest face; he is comfortable with himself from all angles, at all times, no matter how many rejections he may face, no matter the external factors.

He accepts himself for who he is, he accepts that he will not be liked be all, he will not be loved by all; and he knows this is best, since he values then only those who are able to appreciate his presence.

He sees that judging his value as a sexual man based on the metric of individual romantic successes and failures is a result of poor insight into what are far better, more truthful, more consistent metrics of his sense of self.

He sees, infact that HE is the only true metric by which to judge his sense of worth: HIS opinion is the only true metric of his sense of self. Therefore, he decides to accept himself fully as he is, to let go of any other metric of his personal worth than his own dictate.

Thus he becomes invincible to external factors, rejection; because he sees through the illusion that his mind creates as a result of these inevitable conditions of life that all human beings face.

He chooses to love himself regardless, to embrace himself unconditionally, and thus become free from conditions beyond himself.

Axle.