Boys Like You

Dear Brock Turner,

It’s boys like you that make me question my own experiences. Was I really sexually abused, assaulted, silenced? It’s boys like you that make my friends feel like they’re being impolite by uninviting the boy who assaulted me, who causes me to have panic attacks and flashbacks when I see him. Boys like you that make me feel uncomfortable when you and have abused my friends yet are being polite to me so I feel obligated to reciprocate. Being a hypocrite and martyr at the same time.

Boys like you make me feel unsafe walking alone at night or almost any time of day for that matter. Boys like you make me question what I wear and how much I drink. Boys like you make me feel like I have to find another male to walk me home even if I’m not drunk. Boys like you make standing at a stoplight unbearable for the unwanted comments about my appearance and physiology.

I was born a woman and automatically made guilty for the actions of boys like you. I am to apologize for having “a nice ass” or “DSL’s”. These attributes cause boys like you to confuse my unintentional sexual appeal for sexual interest. My body is my own and what I do and decide with it is my decision. Boys like you decide that experiences can be questioned and invalidated as you question the truth of #yesallwomen.

You don’t deserve the punishment you and boys like you get, you deserve more. You will never face the true consequences of your actions. You will never see your victim struggle for the rest of her life. Girls like her have to think about what they wear, where they go, how much they drink, and who they go with. Boys like you never think about your actions because you are selfish and society doesn’t make you. Boys like you never consider the privilege you’re given. You abuse it, use it for your own gain.

Girls like her have to carry the weight, guilt, and shame of your actions for the rest of their lives. Girls like her will never have another day when they don’t think about boys like you. You have broken the lives of so many innocent girls and forced them to pick up the pieces and hold them together until another boy like you breaks them down again.

Boys like you don’t even need a name, you just need to get off. Boys like you believe yourselves to be invincible because you will never face real punishment. Boys like you are the problem, forcing girls like us to solve it. Boys like you make it the woman’s responsibility to solve problems she didn’t create nor want any part in. Boys like you will never understand because you don’t want to and don’t have to.

Boys like you ruin lives.

by Hannah Nobbe

Originally published at obviweretheladies.com on September 3, 2016.