Which Would You Pick: Joy or Happiness?

I n this time of remote work, quarantining, isolation, anxiety, and fear, people are in dire need of some positivity. Maybe you have even typed in the Google Search Box: How to be happy or Steps for happiness or something like that. However, what you really should be searching for is Joy. And no, these are not synonyms of each other. Joy and happiness are two different emotions, derived differently, with different time spams. Read on to learn about more than just a connotative difference.

Someone recently asked me about a post where the author stated that happiness stems from having or getting something you really want. She struggled with the definition because she finds herself continuing to throw energy towards a goal long after she should have moved on. Wouldn’t that make happiness elusive? If you can’t get that thing you really want, you’ll never achieve happiness. Yikes! Even if you get that thing you want, how can you be sure it will make you happy?

She also said that outside things can make you happy, but it’s just short-term. Right she is. She hit the nail on the head. Happiness is the result of an accomplishment, event, or thing that causes you to react with happiness. Note the key word, react. Happiness is fleeting. It comes from a stimulus that causes you to react.

Here are some examples of things that make us happy:

We could go on and on. You know how it works. All of these challenges, material things, or accomplishments can make us happy for a time. But long term, the happiness fades away. Not the case with joy. Let’s consider some key differences between happiness and joy.

Joy is a state of being that is not dependent on any outside influence. It comes from the inside. It is a state that you create without any stimulus. The car or the good grade do not bring you joy. Joy is a choice you make every morning when you awaken or when you choose to smile at the driver who just cut you off or when you help a neighbor in need. Joy is selfless; a narcissistic person will have a hard time achieving joy. Some say that God can be found in the difference between happiness and joy — a thought worthy of exploration.

Think about the last five times you were happy in the past month. Did they involve a material thing, an accomplishment, a fleeting moment? How long did the happy feeling last? Are you still feeling happy from it?

If you find yourself striving for the next thing to make yourself happy, consider pursuing joy. It’s easier than you think. It starts with choosing an attitude of joy and pushing away negative thoughts. The best way to do this is to think about what you’re grateful for — people who love you, a roof over your head, a job that you enjoy, food on the table. These basic things are wonderful things to be grateful for! As you practice gratitude, watch your joy increase.

Just because you’re practicing joy doesn’t mean that hard times won’t come. But here’s the best part: that’s when joy shows its muscle! Joy helps you deal with hard times by giving you strength and an attitude that makes the hard times seem less hard. Joy changes your perspective.

So the next time you find yourself in the Google search box, type in How to be joyful and see what comes up. You’ll find the lists of activities easy to do, so why not give them a try?

Diane T. Keil-Hipp is COO at Knight Insurance Group, an independent insurance business in Toledo, Ohio, and a doctoral student at BGSU.