Getting Punched in the Mouth

Sometimes there is beauty in getting punched in the face.

As a kid, I experienced some pretty painful things. As a little boy, my half brother lived with us and was usually in some sort of trouble. By the time I was 4 my parents had split up, and when I was 7 years old Jeff died tragically. He was 20 and in a single car accident with “friends” who were also troubled kids. We found out because the police came to our house one morning and my mom thought he was “in trouble again.”

These kinds of moments are hard at any stage in life, but for a kid I’m imagining they were traumatic. They must have been tough to handle.

I’ve never really spoken about these things with most people much less written about them on the Internet. But as I continue in my work of self-discovery, now writing daily and meditating twice a day, I figured now might be a good time to be more open about these things.

Plus, I think they help to explain the title of this post: punching people in the face was something that I did a lot in my teenage years.

When I was 13, I punched my friend Mike in the face in the hallway. From the age of 14–18 I played Linebacker on the football team down in Texas, where my role was to “hit” people as hard ask could. I was a pretty strong and somewhat fast kid so I could pack a pretty good punch upon impact. Right in the face.

Knocking people out was a Pure way to express my rage. It was a beautiful thing.

Until one day this older guy punched me in the face. My “friend” arranged a fight between us probably out of amusement or some kind of weird teenage fight-club moment. Anyway, I totally lost that fight. He knocked the shit out of me and I was humbled.

Being punched in the mouth might have been one of the best things to happen to me.

It just so happens that around that time I started reading Nietzsche. Although my “friends” were the popular kids in high school, I was in the smart classes. Luckily, even though I literally don’t remember ever studying for a test or doing homework, I was smart enough to do well on tests and especially standardized ones.

So between shutting my mouth a bit after being humbled from a punch in the face and reading Nietzsche, I got interested in going to a good college. Given my grades and test scores I was able to make that happen.

The rest is History, or rather the Story I tell about myself most of the time. Wash U, Class President, Wall Street, JD-MBA at Harvard, Hedge Funds, Startups, VC, Beautiful wife, Incredible daughter, life in the suburbs.

A blessed life.

The Truth is we all have painful stories. We all have trauma and challenges and lives that don’t fit neatly into little boxes. We have heartache. We make mistakes. We are human.

Too often we pretend like the world is some rose-colored place where everyone can achieve nirvana today.

The Truth is the world has a bunch of shit wrong with it.

Sometimes there are cocky young jerks who need a good punch in the mouth. It might even make their lives better for it.

The Truth is I have always been more of a lover than a fighter. But life requires both. Sometimes what we need is the sensitive compassion of a kind heart. Sometimes we need the tough will of a strong fist.

The same is true in business and the markets.

Having a Mission Driven approach is critical but so is doing the hard work to grind out results everyday.

Sure we believe in Progress in the long run, but sometimes having a market collapse is the best thing that can happen for the World.

Maybe we can love someone so much that we punch them in the mouth.

Maybe that’s just what the world needs now.

Love. Sweet love.

A fist. Right in the face.

-DAL