Poem — A Failure — Odyssey

I consider myself a failure,
At career, at love, at life, at being alive,
A failure to keep my friend close,
A failure to maintain my soul,
I have lost everything, and i managed to lose more,
As I face death in the last moments, i despair more,
It’s alright, I don’t deserve to smile,
I don’t deserve to live, I don’t deserve to cry,
I’m not worth a chance, I’m not worth the rain,
It’s just all pain, and a hell to live in,
That’s even a blessing for this scarred cursed essence of mine.
Yet why does my heart try to scream,
Why does my mind finds hope and ideas to dream,
Why does when i lose everything, i tend to hold on to the edge,
What am I waiting for, no love, no money, nobody to choose me, no career,
I’m lost and broken, i failed and ruined more,
I’m so tired to breathe, I’m so tired to keep my eyes open at any time,
What’s the use of it all, the over the edge is welcoming me,
It’ll be so easy to end it all, and die…
Yet I can’t, everything becomes heavy and refuses to move
I don’t know what’s left in this life for me.
I still refuse to leave
I don’t care about revenge
I don’t care about everything lost in tine,
I don’t have anything I want to be
Hollow empty husk, struggling to breathe but not letting out even this time…