I was watching an adapted film, from a book called “The DUFF”; written by an all to well known author (in every teenage book worms world) Kody Keplinger.
What I thought would be a good laugh of a film, turned very quickly into an all to well known existential crisis, filled with self-doubt and loathing against not just my physical self, but my own emotional health.
Too bore you all, I’m going to explain the “plot” of this all too real reality.
Main protagonist: Bianca Piper
Bianca, has two incredibly attractive friends Jess and Casey. Every guy swoons over them, but like every other teenage film (*cough cough* Twighlight *cough cough*) they don’t see the absolute glaringly obvious love eyes flowing their way.
Bianca, is seen as the “DUFF”; the alright looking, not ugly or fat, (I don’t know whether that was Hollywood’s casting or just the point of the film; let’s just say it didn’t help with my confidence) the meh looking friend. She doesn’t seem to care or realise the disposition she is in, until an asshole of a bloke tells her; (surprise, surprise) Bianca then becomes extremely self conscious and pushes people away, exclaiming that as her “friends” they should have told her that she was in fact the ogre between both of them.
*PLOT SPOILER*
She ends up with the good looking guy anyway, because…Hollywood *sigh*
While watching the film, I really started to relate to this poor girl, who had no boyfriend or any experience in that department, let alone a social life, while distressingly, being surrounded by incredibly gorgeous friends.
Looking back at it, I shouldn’t really let a film like this get too me. Too many clichés and not enough reality; but I didn’t need anymore reality, because the first five minutes, led me to see my new depressing future of loneliness and living in my self pity puddle.
I realised that as self-deprecating as it was, I was in fact the all too well known DUFF. Not just in my VERY limited friendship group, but also in my not so limited family. Cousins, Intelligent, beautiful, independent women; Sisters all carrying the same traits, imperfections just don’t exists in that department. And then there was I, the ugly duckling.
Every where I looked, I either couldn’t see the “DUFF” or I pin pointed them out. It sounds horrific, but I realised, that I was at the knees of Hollywood. And the only jurisdiction I had when my extremely intelligent friend asked why I looked so down, was about my new findings and my feelings towards myself, and that I was boyfriend-less, fat and ugly, creating the idea that I ticked every box in which Bianca herself described.My demeanour of being an all independent woman, Beyoncé wannabe, feminist, was slowly crumbling, and it terrified myself and the others around me. I was living the ‘nightmare’
My own loathing and emotional attachment to this wretched film, had defeated me, and that I was/ still am in the mindset that I’m not, or ever will be “good enough” for anyone, let alone myself.
I realise I’m rambling, and that actually, there is no point to this rant. Maybe the moral should be this film made me realise that we were all in fact unique and beautiful” or should I end it with a popular “make yourself feel better Pinterest quote” something along the lines of “beauty comes in all different shapes and sizes”
For anyone reading this, who feels like they’ve found themselves, whether that’s just looking in the mirror and reminding yourself that your incredible (I don’t mean that vainly) and not too worry, or whether you were traveling one day, and you stopped to think and realised that you were this incredible being who had all powers, and impossibilities where in actual fact possible!? , could you please give me a buzz, and maybe some Agony Aunt advice!?
Many thanks (if your still here that is)
The now realised, and self acclaimed “DUFF” xx
Btw all right’s go to the author, in which created this book/name; I would give it a watch, if you still want a bit of a laugh; because as horrific as this experience has been, the film was still blooming funny.
