Burnout: Picking Your Battles

In the past year and a half, I’ve burnt out twice. In December 2016, just as holidays started, I experienced exhaustion for 4 days straight. I couldn’t eat, and just wanted to sleep the whole day. For an extended period this year from June to October, I became disillusioned with my work, and lost the energy I previously had.

I’ve never really burnt out before, and it happening twice in such a short time from each other is alarming to me. It’s mostly alarming, because it’s a frightening slap in the mortality. It’s a realisation that I’m human and as much as I want to, I can’t take on more unless I change… *something*.

I’ve always wanted to be where I am right now, and I’ve somehow through hard work and a healthy dose of luck landed exactly where I wanted to be. I’m finally at the right time and right place. I know how rare this is, and I know how 14 year old Simon feels about this.

“Dude! Holy shit! You’ve made it! The world is listening! You are travelling a lot! You are building epic shit! HIGH FUCKING FIVE FUTURE SIMON!”

And that’s why it’s so hard.

I’m trying to take it all in as deeply as I can, and take all the opportunities that come my way… but I can’t anymore.

I need to be much smarter about this, and that means saying no, and closing some doors. When the doors were never open to begin with, I’m struggling to figure out how to manage this properly. Willingly closing a door hurts way more than it should.

Some people are different people when they are drunk. Some cry, some become aggressive. I just become more positive. I say yes to more things. I’ve learned not to make plans when I’ve been drinking. ;)

Similarly, in order to conserve my energy, I’ve been trying to not say yes to too much when I have it. And so, I need to pick my battles better.

That’s a start. Just being cognizant that you can’t keep running forever. And, so, in learning how to stave off burnout, here’s what I’ve been trying recently.

1. Being proactive about rest. Get 7–8 hours sleep. Just lie some afternoons in the sun.
2. I’ve picked up other hobbies that take me out of my head. I’ve been dancing weekly and it’s the most fun I’ve had in a long while.
3. I’m walking and exercising more. Without music.
4. I’m reading more.
5. I’m meditating again (hard to keep this habit though).

The hardest thing however is accepting one’s limitations. With these burnouts and introspection about it, is that I’ve learned that I’m not particularly good at quitting things when I start them. As Speed Levitch said in Waking Life: “On really romantic evenings of self, I go salsa dancing with my confusion”. I’ve yet to determine why I have this need to see things through even when I know I should probably exit.

I look forward to learning more of myself. :)