On Having and Giving
I have a lot.
A dysfunctional but loving family.
A best friend who is so amazing, that I can’t even begin to describe it (I love you, G!).
A roof over my head.
A good job and steady income.
Tech gadgets.
A piano.
Books.
Travel memories.
Plans for the future.
What I don’t have is inner peace, a healthy body for my soul, love for myself and generally, happiness. Go figure.
I don’t know how to achieve these things. I’ve tried a million things and nothing ever helps. The more I fixate on the ultimate pursuit of happiness, the farther it gets from me. I’ve stopped chasing it.
Instead, I focus on what I can give.
I wish I could give more time to the causes I care about but for a number of reasons, I am unable to.
I can give money. Every month, I make 2 or more small donations to different organizations/people: an animal shelter; a food bank; an NGO that helps orphans; young artists; etc. I make it a point to donate every month, and to a minimum of 2 causes.
I know donating money is not as meaningful as actually volunteering but it is what it is.
I don’t know if giving helps other people (I wish to think it does) — but it does help me. It brings me a little bit of peace and balance. Makes me think I am a somewhat decent human being. Reminds me there are things I care about. And if it happens to help someone else in the process, that’s great.
This holiday season (which also includes my birthday in December), I will ask my friends and family to not give me any gifts. Instead, I’ll ask for a small donation in my name to causes/organizations with meaning to me. This way I’ll get more of what I really need: balance (and perhaps a bit of happiness).
