Reweaving Christmas: From Biological Family to Homo Amor Family

This short introduction is taken from a spontaneous live talk given on the weekly broadcast of One Mountain, Many Paths, which Dr. Marc Gafni co-founded together with his evolutionary partner Barbara Marx Hubbard. These are unedited and unplugged excerpts of Dr. Gafni’s talk created by his students. Thus, the style of this story is the spoken word and not a formal essay. We recommend you to watch the featured clip and watch Dr. Gafni’s teaching on this topic below.

Last Sunday we celebrated the re-weaving of Christmas, by moving through the three classical levels of love to get to love’s pure light: Outrageous Love.

World Spirituality means that every tradition is holding something in what we call the Unique Self Symphony of Spirit. Every religion is a unique intimacy, it’s unique quality of being. For example, Silent Night is this uniquely gorgeous Christian moment.

Now what is the meaning of love’s pure light from Silent Night? Love’s pure light is not ordinary love. Love’s pure light is purely innocent. It’s the Virgin, but it’s the Virgin of second innocence, not a first innocence. So second innocence means that the innocence is never lost; it never goes away.

So Christmas is an invitation to revirginate; we find the innocence in ourselves that hasn’t gotten lost. We find the Virgin and we find the child: the Infinite.

There are three classical levels of love that we have to go through before we get to love’s pure light: Outrageous Love.

The first level is the place in which culture has placed love in the world: in this institution which we call biological family. The biological family is an enormously important institution. It’s strong; we need family. Biological family is enormously important. But it’s far from the end of the story; biological family is the beginning of the story. When biological family is my whole story, it becomes idolatrous. Biological family is level one.

The second way to experience love is romantic love. This is the love between two people. It is your intimate circle of beloveds. Romantic love is between me and my beloved; my man, my woman. You can also have a kind of romantic, personal love between a sister and a brother. It means love in your circle, with your close friends. By romantic we don’t mean sexual, we mean this kind of couple-hood. You can have a kind of romantic love where you’re like, Oh my God, I’m madly in love with my dog. We’re connected, we’ve got this romance together; we’ve got this deep bond between us that lights me up in this wild and insane way. Romantic love is the beginning of the understanding that love animated biology but is deeper than biology. It’s the source of love. Love is not just an expression of biology, which cloaks the need to survive. Love is driving this whole thing, and love matters all the way. That’s romantic love.

There’s an importance and a glory in romantic love and: it’s not enough. We’re not going to be able to stare in the face of existential risk and catastrophic risk, with romantic love. It’s not going to take us home.

We’ve got to move from biological family, from romantic love, to level three: Evolutionary Family and Outrageous Love.

Evolutionary Family is the realization and the understanding that I’m walking with a band of brothers and sisters. They see me and I see them. We look in each other’s eyes and we’ve got each other’s backs all the way. We’re not building a war room, we’re building a peace room. We’re finding the inside of Reality and we’re creating a new society. We’re telling the New Story together.

It means we’re committed to each other, because we actually understand that we’re living in a field of Outrageous Love and love is the most real force in the world.

Evolutionary Lovers know that each one of us is a unique configuration of Homo amor. Each one of us is a unique configuration of intimacy and desire and Eros. Each one of us is a unique configuration of the LoveIntelligence, LoveBeauty and LoveDesire, that’s the initiating and animating Eros of All-That-Is. It’s living uniquely in me and loves a Unique Self perception that I see when I fall madly in love.

We’re looking at a shared horizon. We are Wholemates. We’re joining genius to co-create for the sake of the whole. We’re omni-considerate for the sake of the whole. We’re willing to lay it down, to sacrifice, and to pour our energy at this moment. This moment between utopia and dystopia, which is for real.

Here’s the litmus test for Evolutionary Family. When you’re with your Evolutionary Lovers, you don’t have to play small. When you’re with your Evolutionary Family, you get to live large. You get to confess your vulnerability, and at the same time, confess your greatness. When you’re with your Evolutionary Family, you can speak and be and live your Deepest Heart’s Desire, and know that your Deepest Heart’s Desire is the desire of evolution and the evolutionary impulse moving through you utterly, uniquely, and gorgeously.

We’re birthing a new level of intimacy. That’s what Evolutionary Family is. Evolutionary Family is the only way to actually understand “You Are Not Alone.”

Listen to Michael Jackson’s “You Are Not Alone,” as you continue reading and contemplate on these questions: Who is your Evolutionary Family? Who truly celebrates your greatness? With who do you look at a shared horizon to join genius for the sake of the whole?

With your Evolutionary Family, you can be yourself. Not your lowest common denominator self.

With Evolutionary Family we step into the field of glory, and Gloria becomes glory; not just Christian glory, but the glory of the band of Outrageous Lovers. Right. That’s the story. That’s the In Excelsis Deo.

It is before your Evolutionary Family that you can confess your greatness, take your unique risk, speak and live your Deepest Heart’s Desire, and be seen in the depth of your true glory. We will not be able to respond to existential risk without making the momentous leap from only biological family to Evolutionary and Soul Root Family.

We’re a Band of Outrageous Lovers; we are a Unique Self Symphony. We are literally reweaving the source code of culture. We are birthing a new level of intimacy which is Evolutionary Family.

Enjoy the replay below for a beautiful journey through these three levels of love, in which Dr. Marc Gafni guides us to reclaim our innocence and awaken as Evolutionary Lovers.



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Dr. Marc Gafni

Dr. Marc Gafni

Author, Visionary Philosopher, Evolutionary Mystic, Social Innovator, and the President of the Center for Integral Wisdom.