Philautia

OFTP’S [Word] Of The Moment № 9

Art by Chia Tolentino

What a funny word love is. Every single person in the world has given their own meaning to it. With its wide spectrum, it can take the form of something either tangible or intangible. I’d like to look at love as a sixth sense. It is a sight, a smell, a sound, a flavor, and a feeling all at the same time. Today, our calendars are marked with red ink in the hopes that we would be able to experience whatever we perceive as love for ourselves. For some people, today is a day to commemorate solidarity, happiness, and affection. For others, it is another reminder of pain and animosity. Then, there are the ones who are on the neutral side of things. Unbothered with the idea of the over-hyped social construct of Valentine’s Day, simply enjoying the flow of life.

Oh, to be loved on such a day─ I’ve lost count at the number of times I would scroll through social media and see another “sana all” moment. But I realized, that what I fail to see more of is the other end of the spectrum of love. There is so much more to Valentine’s Day than just receiving flowers, sweets, and messages. Love is complex, and psychology tells us that there are actually eight different versions of love as a feeling and as an expression.

Let’s define them:

1. Philia or affectionate love. This is the love that runs deep within friends and certain family members.
2. Pragma or enduring love. This love is pure, everlasting, and is often expressed in a healthy, long-term relationship.
3. Storge or familiar love. Quite similar to Philia, it is the love rooted in children and parents, as well as exceedingly close friendships.
4. Eros or romantic love. It is a primordial love that usually becomes a second instinct to us. It’s very passionate and is often expressed through physical affection.
5. Ludus or playful love. This love is child-like and very flirtatious─ often seen at the beginning of a relationship or the so-called “honeymoon stage”.
6. Mania or obsessive love. This type of love is seen among couples that have an unhealthy imbalance of playful and romantic love and can be harmful if not addressed.
7. Agape or selfless love. It is the highest level of giving because it is given without any expectations of return. It is the decision to love in any circumstances — including destructive situations.

Lastly, the most important type of love to remember to express today and every single day of the year,

Philautia or self-love. The healthiest form of love where you recognize your self-worth, personal needs, and overall well-being. Although this is sometimes one of the hardest forms of love to express, it should never be something to overlook.

The process isn’t always easy or pretty, but that’s what makes it so pure. It is the type of connection that never seems to go stagnant in terms of its development because we alter our lives to fit what we think is best for us─ because that is what we deserve. We deserve to receive love and to be loved.

I think that every day should be Valentine’s Day, or at least, just for us as individuals. As important as it is to show the people around you that cherish them, it should be just as important, or maybe even more, to show yourself that you are cherished and appreciated. Let the relationship that you establish with you be the blueprint for your own “sana all” moment.

References:

FTD Fresh. (2020). The 8 Different Types of Love + the Perfect Combo for You | Retrieved 14 February 2021, from https://www.ftd.com/blog/give/types-of-love

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