Watching the World Alphabetically
Have you ever wondered what the best way to consume media is? By rating? By genre? By Critical Consensus?
I’d argue that none of those are good when you’re staring down the barrel of an almost infinite number of hours of entertainment.
Choosing Media is Hard
I find it incredibly hard to choose a particular piece of media to consume. I’m frozen by indecision and it’s started to take a toll on my enjoyment. At any given time, there is just so much entertainment out there that it’s almost impossible to make a choice.
So what’s the logical way forward? Figuring out the deep-seated reason for my indecision? Coming to terms with the personality quirks that allow me to make life-altering decisions quickly and easily but completely wreck me when choosing which 22 minutes to grace with my eyeballs?
So, What’s The Plan Then?
Nah. I’m going to watch them all. Alphabetically.
Now, that might seem a little extreme but you don’t live inside my brain. In my brain, there’s really no difference between choosing a movie or TV show based on merit versus choosing it randomly. I used to love being able to semi-randomly surf channels and simply watch whatever I found playing.
With the ubiquity of streaming services, that simplicity is gone. Now I’m encouraged to either watch what someone else wants to, what the ever-nebulous zeitgeist is hooked on, or whatever the algorithm at Netflix throws at me.
Fine. What’s the Process?
Am I going to be scientific about this? Not at all. Well, kinda. I am going to be recording:
- First Air Date
- Audience Rating (if available)
- Critical Rating (if available)
- Genre
- Bingeability (1–10, subjective)
- Likeability (1–10, subjective)
How Long Is This Going to Take
I’m going to be freezing my playlists so I don’t go down a rabbit hole of content being created faster than I can watch it so the totals stand at:
TV Shows: 70 days
Movies: 58 days
May God have mercy on my soul.
