Become a listener
Strong relationships in an uncertain future
“Without communication, there is no relationship. Without respect, there is no love. Without trust, there is no reason to continue.”
These are simple words that can be taken as a foundation for any successful relationship. But do we always apply those principles? We, most likely do with friends and family. Then what about strangers, colleagues, business partners? Don’t they deserve the same courtesy?
The face of relationships of today
It’s a large, busy and tough world out there. Yet, there are still two forces that can cure and empower you. One of them is your inner peace and inner power. The second one is the energy you receive from your friends, family and close and honest relationships with your co-workers. Therefore, it is important to slow down and focus on quality communication. Give people in the room your undivided attention. Don’t let the destruction of notifications and banners interrupt the eye contact.
Building relationships is harder now. Conversations are conducted by texting. Feelings expressed in emojis. Arguments happen in the form of GIFs exchange. We do have technology which connects us with people half a world away, and we appreciate the opportunity to extend our reach. But while we are connecting with people far far away we are weakening our connection to those closest to us. What we forget is that those closest to us is our community.
The community we live in, the physical space of love, and not the virtual world however rosy it may seem, keeps us alive and sane. None other, but those in our physical space of love are the ones present. They are the ones who are truly interested, listening with sincerity, they are there for you. And you, what do you do? In the middle of conversation outcomes a device because you heard a ding.
You see a banner and tap your screen to answer a comment from a stranger. You’ve heard a ping, and just like that, like Pavlov’s dog, you reach for your device to see a picture your brother posted. That picture, as well as a news article, as well as a tweet, form a celebrity you follow will from that moment on exist in posterity. You can come back to it twelve minutes, twelve hours, twelve days, or twelve hundred years later. The moment you are in, with a live, interested in your person is just that — a moment. Weeeeeeesh and it’s gone. It will never happen again.
Make your life about these moments. Focus your eyes on the person in front of you. That’s how you make your history. That’s how you write your life’s story. The mindless scrolling through other people’s life moments may be a great pass time (not in our opinion), but it should not be done when another human is engaged in an interaction with you.
We are not advocating against the technology, but rather for the appropriate use of it. We want to utilize it for our relationships instead of allowing it to interfere.
The golden rule(s)
What we need to focus on is the quality of relationships, not quantity.
In today´s world, we have many ways (and more than ever) to connect and communicate with other people.
- Learn the basics of nonverbal communication.
One study found that nonverbal communication accounted for 55 percent of our perception of the interaction.
2. Engage the audience in discussion.
Don´t think your opinion is the only right one. Ask others, listen, discuss.
- Put your phone away. Turn off sounds, don´t get interrupted by notifications. Facebook and Instagram posts will wait. Give your full attention to those currently physically present.
- Be a listener. To communicate effectively, first listen to what others have to say.
- Maintain eye contact. Whether speaking to a crowd or one-on-one, maintaining eye contact builds credibility.
- Our suggestion is to conceder the following methods of communication in descending order of preference:
- Meeting in person
- Video call
- Phone call
- Texting… emailing… Keep those to a minimum, make a conscious effort to use your voice instead, and see how your relationships improve.
What about business?
We are saddened by the state of affair as we witness unprecedented disengagement that is currently wildly mistaken for “customer service”. If anything, businesses are doing quite the opposite to customers and themselves when, despite the fact that they have salespeople available to talk, they offer their customers a machine, a chatbot.
At OKTIUM, we believe in the power of meaningful communication. That is why we want people to connect with the help of technology. Connect instantly, connect live and Face2 face to a real person who will be present for you.
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