Beginners Guide To The Bee Gees

When I was younger and thought I was cool, if anyone tossed out the words “Bee Gees,” an involuntary gag-reflex shook my entire being.

At that time, the Bee Gees were, in my opinion, the musical equivalent of going a whoring after Apis (the biblical Golden Calf), i.e., if you listened to the Bee Gees or, worse, liked their music, then at best, you were unmanly, at worst, depraved beyond redemption. Saying you enjoyed the Bee Gees was tantamount to uttering, “I really like Barry Manilow.”

Never say, never, right?

Years later, when I realized I wasn’t cool and really didn’t care, I discovered a horrible truth: I liked the Bee Gees, a lot. The sinuous melodies, the gossamer textures floating on diaphanous colors, the fluent lingering tones of velvety falsettos, it all captivated me. To this day, “Too Much Heaven” sends chills up and down my spine, brings tears to my eyes, and cuddles me in scrumptious sappy sentimentality.

What happened to me? Why do I now love the Bee Gees? There, I said it. I love the Bee Gees.

They started out as skiffle band, called the Rattlesnakes, followed by calling themselves Wee Johnny Hays and the Bluecats. A little later, they were known as Barry and the Twins. In the end, a…