A lot of people might be surprised to hear this, but I was a virgin until my wedding night. When you’re a relatively attractive young man as I am, people tend to assume that you “slept around” (though it isn’t exactly sleeping you do, when you sleep around) at least a little bit during your twenties. But this just wasn’t inline with my values; I believe that sex is a special thing, not meant to be experienced until you and another person make the ultimate commitment to each other… the commitment of marriage. Sure, I had a number of relationships with women; some of them were even quite intense emotionally, but physically there was nothing that went beyond making out, with maybe some exploration of each other’s semi-nude bodies (with our hands only, of course.) You might also be surprised to learn that a number of those women wanted me to get more physical than this with them, with some applying pressuring me about it more than I was comfortable with. At least I was surprised by this; TV and movies had conditioned me to believe that sexual desires were largely the domain of men, with a woman being sexual mostly to keep “her man” happy. Being unprepared for the sometimes aggressively strong sexuality of the women I was with made them even harder to resist. Sometimes I wonder how I did it.

My wedding night was incredibly special, however, and I’m certain that resisting those temptations was a big party of the reason why. The ceremony itself was no big deal; it was done in a courthouse, with maybe a half dozen friends and family there as witnesses. Most of our relatives live out of state, so we decided to have a party a few months later that would be easier for them to attend. Even our honeymoon was incredibly lowkey; just a nice hotel room for the night in a good part of town. But oh my, what a honeymoon it was! The excitement and tension going on between us was palpable (my bride had also made the decision to save herself until making a life long commitment to someone), and when we were finally checked into the hotel, it had gotten late. I informed my new wife that I was, in fact, quite tired, and wanted to just get some rest. Understandably disappointed, she was still very understanding, and we got ready for bed together.

Once I was sure my wife was asleep, things were a go; I changed back into street clothes, and snuck out of the room, careful not to wake my beautiful new bride (after all she had done much of the planning, and probably needed the rest.) I hailed a cab across town to the home of a woman whose DMs I had slid into on Twitter; we had been ramping up our flirting for months, and at this point she had all but confirmed to me that she was be a sure thing. Wow, what a night we had; I’m sure the sex would’ve been incredible no matter what, but knowing that I had just pledged my life to someone, and her having done the same with me, just somehow made the love making with this complete stranger that much more powerful, more intense. It was really hard to sneak out after everything was done, and even more difficult to then block this woman on all forms of social media, but I had a wife, and waking up next to each other is an important part of being married.

Since then, my sex life has only gotten better; there have been women I’ve picked up in bars, my wife’s friends, some lady from some band whose name I don’t remember. Each one of them was that much more fulfilling, because I did the right thing; I waited until I was married to have sex. It’s just so incredibly special, sex after you’ve made the ultimate bond with another person, nothing else could possibly compare. I hope my wife has also gotten to have sex; I bet she’d really enjoy it.