I need you back

So, here I am once again, alone talking with my mind. Actually it’s been a while, I’ve been dodging our meetings and it worked for a time.

But she is strong you know, and if she wants something, she makes it happen.

I used to hate her, like be scared of her and blame her for everything. She was supposed to be my dark side you know, the one no one sees. She’s supposed to be the wicked one, the one pushing them away. I thought she had all the power and that I was a puppet. I thought she made me feel with intensity, only to take away what I fell for. I thought she was my gardian, my demon gardian. I thought she was a mistake, a hindrance, a liability.

But I was wrong, I was so wrong.

For a few weeks or months actually, I felt as if I could no longer write. My words were just words, my voice was just sound, my style was just common. And I blamed her. Cause she left me.

She left me… or maybe I pushed her away. I made her leave as I neglected her. She made me sick, she made me weird. Whenever she’d be there, I would feel intense. She would erase my smile, and show my distress. But only to me. She’s in fact very shy. And when she left, when I made her leave, selfish Oh me, I lost it all.

I lost my writing, I lost my interest, I lost my me. I lost my passion, I lost my motivation, I lost my soul. I became me, unique and pure. I became me, boring and nothing. I became me, the good me, and I hate it.

She is my inspiration and my strength. She is my uniqueness and my whole. She, the one I fear, is my me.

Where are you, where are you?

I need you so, I need me so. Without you, I am nothing. Without you, I am just me. I am a me, that isn’t me. I need your anger, your rage, your ability. I need your feeling.

Common dear, I need you back.