8-Track Tapes Commercials that Will Blush Your Mother

You remember 8-track tapes, right?

Sure, you do … they were the ones strewn all over the back seat of your dad’s card. You know, the ones that made him grin and wink at your mom whenever you held one up.

“How you doin’?” he’d say.

Then he’d pop one in (that’s what she said) and sing along as the tape hissed in the background.

Sure, you remember.

And, in case you need a little reminder, these 8-track tape commercials will take you right back and put the blush right back on Mom’s face.

Some Assembly Required

So you could save $30 on a sixty-dollar 8-track player for your car, right smack dab in the middle of 1970s funkiness?

Either Radio Shack was extremely magnanimous, or their base prices were as high as a moon shot … or maybe they just wanted to sell 8-track albums?

First hit’s free, I hear. Or at least cheaper, in this case.

Rock On!

Solid Gold was important in the 1970s and 1980s.

For once, the Solid Gold dancers fueled all sorts of dreams as they flashed across the stage … dreams of being making a living busting a move, dreams of being a gazelle, other kinds of … um … dreams.

And then there was the Solid Gold that sold compilation albums like this one — Party Rock.

Who wouldn’t jump at the chance to own 56 “certified” number-one singles, all under one roof.

Er, I mean, packed in five 8-tracks (or cassettes, or LPs)?

Even if some of the music was already a little old and drippy by rockin’ party standards.

Carol Had ONE Job

The main thing I want to know here is, how did these people get inside Dr. Bob Hartley’s office to film their 8-track commercial?

Did Carol let them in? Did they sneak past?

And what’s Jerry supposed to do when he comes barging in and plops down on the couch with one of his sob stories. Who’s supposed to help him??

That’s what I want to know.

How the West Was Won

I’m always amazed at the technology folks had in olden days, like the Aztecs and their calendars.

The Romans and their aqueducts.

Old west outlaws and their TNT-hammer-topped 8-track boom boxes.

Outstanding.

Not This Sh*t Again!

Look, trucker culture is a thing, and a pretty cool thing at that.

It’s a band of brothers and sisters who look out for each other out there on the road.

But do truckers really want to listen to 50 songs about trucking while they’re rolling down the road?

Over and over and over again?

This spot for Trucker Special tries to make that case, offering up the typical fiver records, cassettes, or 8-tracks.

Come to think of it, that LP option might turn out to be plenty interesting there in the treacherous cab of a 1970s semi.

Rolodex Patent Attorney on Line 2

You’ve got to have some way to organize all those groovy 8-tracks you bought from K-Tel, right?

Well, lucky for you, they have the perfect accessory — this Rolodex-Betty-Crocker-Recipe mashup that lets you flip through your bell bottom blues two at a time.

Score!

Peter C. Rabar

Fitting that Columbia House would choose a mime for this spot, considering how many kids were probably knocked senseless after their parents found out they’d signed up for this steal of deal — 13 albums for a penny, and a lifetime of monthly indebtedness.

And … did Peter C. Rabar sign off on releasing his name and home address?

Collectors Item!

I don’t know about you, but our 8-track player had mostly been relegated to a finger-shock machine for those boring, rainy Saturday afternoons by 1985.

It was broken — I mean, other than carrying that delightful jolt of electricity — and all of our 8-track albums were unwound or cracked in two.

Still, here was Capitol Records offering up Glen Campbell’s greatest hits on hissing tape.

What better way to remember those Southern Nights, I suppose?