All or Nothing Thinking
Your customers, friends and even yourself may do it
A couple years ago, when the Chicago Bears were playing terribly and losing, I proclaimed to my friends that I was “no longer going to watch any football on Sundays”.
I almost didn’t write this article because it won’t be read by thousands of people, all gushing with admiration.
You’re going to permanently move to another country if your least favorite political candidate wins a four year term as President of the United States.
Your 30 day free trial of software falls on deaf ears because if the customer predicts they can’t master the tool right away, they might as well not even start.
All or nothing thinking is a cognitive distortion that causes a person to divide their point of view into extremes. It’s more common moniker is black or white thinking.
Why do people do this? It’s a defense mechanism. Our brains are cognitive misers. When confronted with a multi-faceted issue the brain favors absolutes. Absolutes are easy. They let us off the hook of doing the hard work that’s required to consider the grey area in the middle.
Spending time in the grey area also forces people to be open to changing their minds. Think about how you feel when you’re asked to alter your point of view on politics or spending habits or wearing the color purple.
It’s emotionally taxing. We’ve invested, often heavily, in our views. And our views inform our identity. Being open to change means altering your identity. This is not easy.
It’s much easier, and quicker, to default to with us vs. against us, us vs. them, smart vs. dumb, wildly profitable vs. futile.
This is how many of your customers, partners, employees, constituents, friends, etc. think. It’s important to recognize that all or nothing thinking is a barrier to progress. It is part of what Steven Pressfield calls the resistance.
When someone is engaged in all or nothing thinking they most often choose nothing… Because nothing is much easier than everything.
What can you do today to mitigate all or nothing thinking in yourself? How can you change the way you treat customers or users with the understanding that they might be engaging in all or nothing thinking?
I recently had a great experience with a software company when I signed up for the free trial. My intention was to play around with the tool. But if it was too difficult to understand, I’d bail. I was already down the negative path of thinking “It’s probably too hard and not worth the effort.” … That’s before I’d even begun.
But after signing up, I received a human email from a customer service rep with an offer to help get me started. She also provided immediate responses to my subsequent questions.
It disarmed my all or nothing instinct. I felt fully supported (and liked). Someone else was going to help offset the cognitive load of starting. I don’t have to do all the heavy lifting alone. While I haven’t started using the tool yet, I fully expect to make the effort, and swim in the grey area for a while.
