Published: Dec 8, 2015
Written by: Caleb
I apologize for my time away from here. I’m currently writing from a remote, discreet location. Having been a target of a league-wide conspiracy (I miss you AP) I’ve had to lay low in fear of further repercussions….who else will be stolen…?!
That is neither here nor there. Let’s focus on the now and dissect some teams to figure out who will come out with championship glory.
Too Many Cooks (BYE)
I’ll be the first to admit that I got this team wrong. Who would’ve thought ANYONE from the jaguars would be of fantasy relevance, but sure enough Allen Robinson looks like what everyone thought Justin Blackmon was supposed to look like. Allen Hurns’ return will look to cut into some of the targets. ARob has 17 more targets but 322 MORE yds than AHurns. The pecking order has been established. With the bye, matchup vs ATL will be one to watch. ATL has allowed the 2nd FEWEST fantasy points to WRs this entire season. To make matchups worse, Too Many Cooks probably has the most potent WR core in the L. Bengals are ON FIRE with AJ (106 targets, 1037 yds, 7 TDs). Only downside is Bengals primary red zone target iFart with 9 of his 12 TDS coming from the red zone. Too Many Cooks will need to hope for deep bombs and YAC for AJ. In red zone, too many vultures that could eat away potential points. What could have been if Julian Edelman was also thrown into this mix…?!
1.21 JJ Watts (BYE)
1.21 JJ Watts lives up to his name and has traveled back to the future to secure a bye for the first round. It was just yesterday he was at the bottom trying to figure out whether to bench kapernick or not. Thankfully with a bye he has another week to decide what to really do with Todd Gurley. Week 4 through Week 8 he racked up 566 yds and 3 TDs all on 88 rush attempts and has shown incredible talent, however, the last 2 weeks must have been quite frustrating as a TG owner, 18 total carries for just 60 yds. With a new OC on the way, this could be just the remedy to propel 1.21 JJ Watts back into contention. While Gurley still figures out his way, it looks like patience has paid off for Devante Parker. Although speculated to be one of the most athletic WRs on the dolphins squad, it took him 11 weeks to hit paydirt, but it could not have come at a better time. With Rishard Matthews dealing with rib fractures, you can expect Tannehill to be force feeding Devante Parker, especially after his incredible 38-yard touchdown grab. 1.21 JJ Watts proves that timing is everything, the insurance premium for DeAngelo’ Williams is paying off big dividends and its easy to forget this team also secured the number 1 overall pick in Le’Veon Bell. If the rams can get Gurley off ice this team has potential to go all the way.
j.Maclin Cheese v. Vincent’s Team
Wheeling and dealing has proven quite useful for j.Maclin Cheese but I think the wheels are about to fall off the wagon and it falls squarely on the shoulder of poor quarterback play. Last time Brady lost THREE in a row?! October TWO-THOUSAND-AND TWO. I anticipate Brady, chest puffed full of air, will completely obliterate the Texans D. Other Q’s who have benefited from Houston D: Alex Smith (243 yds, 3 TDs) Blake Bortles (331 yds, 3 TDs) Tyrod Taylor (211 yds 3 TDs 1 rush TD). Brady must be salivating at the thought of this matchup. J.Maclin Cheese has glimmer of hope with Amari Cooper vs Denver D. If last matchup was any indication (4 rec, 47 yds) It might be another rough day for the rookie to produce close to his projection of 14.91. Lastly, I think its worth mentioning J.Maclin Cheese rode the Baltimore RB carousel so hard its quite nauseating. But…consistent to J.Maclin’s betting habits you keep betting 00…sooner or later it will hit….and thus we have “Javorius Allen”.
“Drafted Lorenzo Taliaferro Round 17 Pick 5.
Dropped Lorenzo Taliaferro Picked up Jay Cutler
Dropped Ahmad Bradshaw picked up Javorius Allen
Dropped Javorius Allen picked up Lorzeno Taliaferro
Dropped Lorenzo Taliaferro picked up Javorius Allen”
THE BUCK STOPS HERE. Seattle has allowed the 2nd fewest rushing yds in the L, most notable, my player Adrian Peterson limited to 18 rush yds. Yahoo has this match up close, a difference of 9 pts, but I predict Vincent’s Team cakewalks through this matchup and advances.
Prediction: Vincent’s Team
A-Aron Rodgers v. The Primal Beings
Adrian Peterson will look to bounce back off an awful outing vs a stout seattle D. Peterson has publicly expressed frustration with the offense, particularly about getting more touches. Look for Vikings to force feed AP the ball both through the air and on the ground, but don’t be surprised if the results are the same as last week. Cardinals D has been spectacular, especially on 3rd down. In the Cardinal’s past 3 wins, they’ve only allowed TWO 3rd down conversions (Seattle ⅛, SF 0/9, and STL 1/12). Hard for any offense to gain any momentum if they can’t convert. Brees over Bortles could be what sends The Primal Beings back to the Stone Age. Bortles has been unstoppable. Colts have given up 8 passing TDs over the last 3 weeks and are allowing 3rd most pass YPG (280.4). Bortles dissected the Titans with 322 yds and 5 TDs. You have got to keep riding the hot hand! A-Aron Rodgers suffers with the most chaotic RB rotation out of all the teams. Operating BOTH Charchandrick West and Spencer Ware and trying to hedge your bets is a risky playoff strategy. Each RB plays against the other, limiting the ceiling of both to truly explode. A-Aron would be foolish to continue to push all in on the Kansas City Chiefs (having Maclin also lowers the ceiling for both West and Ware). Thus we introduce Duke Johnson into the mix. I’ve blasted Duke before as a poor man’s Darren Sproles, but in the playoffs you need to go big or go home. With Johnny Manziel looking to start for the Browns, expect the passing game to get a lift. The lack of explosive receivers will leave Duke Johnson as a great dump off option, especially when Manziel buys a few more seconds with his legs. Not to mention SF surrenders the 2nd MOST fantasy points for running backs. Shane Vareen, a similar play style, racked up 25 pts (8 receptions, 86 yds and a rec TD). This is a really close matchup, but the Lacy/Brown/Johnson Jr. might be too much for The Primal Beings. YABADABADOO!
Prediction: A-Aron Rodgers
