On Blast: Ronald Wayne Edition

By: @caleb

Wayne (middle) sold his 10% stake in Apple for $800 in the ‘70s

FOLKS, THIS IS A TRADE WORTHY OF OUR TIME

2020 has met its match, as Jesse officially throws away his shot. This team went from bad to ugly. Jesse not only traded Tyreek (one of the ONLY players on a premier offensive team). He also acquires players that send his team DEEEEEEP into Dante’s 8th circle of HELL:

Jesse Acquires:
D.J. Moore + James Robinson

Benny Acquires:
Tyreek Hill + Peyton Barber

I will try my best to walk you through this absolute dumpster fire of a team, but your oxygen may run low while attempting to traverse through this Mariana Trench.

CELLAR DWELLERS

Fantasy Football 101: draft players that are part of strong offenses. Out of the 13 true player spots…T-E-N of his players are occupied by teams in the bottom of half of the league, as ranked by ESPN:

• C. Wentz, PHI (16th of 32)
• C. Sutton, DEN (23rd of 32)
• Q. Cephus, DET (25th of 32)
• J. Robinson & L. Shenault, JAX (27th of 32)
• M. Breida, MIA (28th of 32)
• D. Moore, CAR (30th of 32)
• J. Mixon & G. Bernard, CIN (31st of 32)
• B. Perriman, NYJ (32nd of 32)

Need a breath of fresh air? It gets worse: Tyreek is arguably one of the most dangerous weapons in NFL, partnered by an absolute cannon of an arm in Mahomes. In 2019, Mahomes threw for 4000 yards and 26 TD’s.

In 2020, Jesse threw him away faster than Cheetah’s 40 time.

AROUND THE LEAGUE

Owners rank trade on scale 1–10 (10 being even)

Benny’s Rating: 8

“Obviously, Tyreek is a stud, but the drop off to DJ Moore may be less than some people think, or, at least, Jesse is banking on that. James Robinson is a RB2 lottery ticket. He was involved in 68% of the jags snaps last week and garnered 36% of their RB touches. That usage rate is promising at least.”

Jesse’s Rating: NR

“Really don’t know, to be honest. Like Marshawn Lynch, get the mic out of my face”

Vince’s Rating: 3

“It’s not great haha maybe a generous 3?”

Sammy’s Rating: 2

“Tyreek >>>>”
“Dude this was bad”

PC’s Rating: 3

“I guess Jesse is trying to go all-in on James Robinson…maybe he wants to get credit if James blows up, I’ve had DJ Moore before…disappointing.”

Danny’s Rating: 3

Konky’s Rating: 2

“Not the worst deal ever, but pretty darn close”

Gordon Rating: 1

“Def ripped off, I play (Jesse) this week, this is good news to me”

Ramon Rating: 1

“I don’t understand (Jesse’s) value system”

Bode’s Rating: 2

“I bump it up from 1 to 2 because there may be a mystical force at play behind James Robinson.”

Caleb Rating: 1

“I am vengeance, I am the night, I am….Ronald Wayne”