College is Backwards

Kelly Hackmann
On Breaking the Mold
4 min readDec 4, 2016

Why does one go to college?

It’s funny, I was never honestly asked this question in all my school years. If such a question were ever raised it always came with a neat perfunctory bow of an answer attached. Most every high school student with decent grades can recite the automatic answer to you right now: “We go to college because it guarantees a job and success.”

Well, yes, for some it does. Even if that “success” is a pile of debt and the shackles of a suburban house tied to an insipid job.

I like J.D. Salinger’s assessment of college as a place where people are dedicated to piling up knowledge like treasure, just for the sake of knowledge. The professors and administrators themselves were hoarders of knowledge and now try to instill that proclivity in the clay minds of students. It is somewhat ironic to point out that they are falling into the same trap as the vacuous capitalists whom these post-Marxist professors love to hate.

Collecting money for money’s sake is an empty pursuit, but so is the academic knowledge hoarding going on at institutes of “higher learning.” Even those words, “higher learning” reek of vague and mystical intent which presupposes itself to be above questioning. That is always a sign that reform is not only necessary but inevitable.

I hardly know anybody who graduated college with a set purpose, path, and visible pot of gold. The truth no teacher will tell a prospective college student is that nobody who goes to college knows what they want from it. It is always assumed that paying tens of thousands of dollars and spending 3–6 years is a necessary crucible to create a fine happy citizen. I’ve found the reality, especially nowadays with rising costs of housing and insurance in the U.S, to be that college graduates are often unhappy bitter people.

They’ve gathered a nice pile of knowledge in hopes that it will lead to a tidy sum of numbers in their bank account but lost the thread tying all the reasons together somewhere in an alcohol, Marxist fueled frenzy of self-destructive education.

Knowledge with purpose is wisdom just as money applied with intent constitutes improvement.

I say this as if it’s an easy pursuit, but the truth is far from that.

Finding a passion that suits your temperament and life experiences takes time and experimentation. It will involve long nights and years of struggle only to wind up at a dead end. Nobody wants to tell college prospects this. It’s a lousy sales pitch.

Instead, colleges, fueled by easy government loans, sway incoming pupils with vague and vanilla platitudes. “You will be a well-rounded person” or they will wave around some generalized statistics about potential future incomes with a degree. Then to make sure the administrators feel like they aren’t being dishonest, the professors begin to pile on papers, grades, inane research topics, and bad writing assignments.

Most every college grad feels that they deserve success because of the scholastic wringer they endured.

The real world doesn’t care how many philosophers you can name or the phases of meiosis. College never teaches you the one real truth of the world: people only care how you can help them.

Before you go off railing against the ego and selfishness and the like, think about how you interact with people. I bet that you also only care about how others can help you and how you can work together to achieve mutual goals.

I’m not implying that you are a heartless people hater. I know that you are like me and if someone came up to you and started lecturing you about Faulkner’s essays at a bus stop, you would probably lose your cool.

I learned a lot at college because I applied myself and picked a relatively interesting subject matter to me. I can’t say the same for most of my peers, if they even showed up to class. I do not entirely regret my decision to attend, but I highly suggest that anyone who is thinking about it, stop and really ask yourself: “Why do I want to hoard knowledge?”

If there is no logical thread in your mind then wait. Don’t sign up to work in the debt mines just yet. Work a few different jobs, yes even if you must serve milkshakes to rude people. Humility is a valuable life skill not taught in any university. Try a few things, save some money so when an interesting opportunity arises you can strike. When that opportunity doesn’t work out, try to ignore all the voices saying that if you’d only go to college you’d be a success. It’s patently untrue. You will only be a success if you have a sustaining reason to be so.

Find your reason, fall in love with life, and then gather knowledge. Not the other way around.

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Kelly Hackmann
On Breaking the Mold

is an outsider, irreverent wordsmith, and full-time trying to afford San Francisco. I often prescribe a diet of more eggs for any medical malady.